I’ve had two big weights, no, actually three, lifted in the last few days.
One each from work, family, and relationship. And… it’s kind of hard to get used to the sensation of *something* hanging over me all the time.
The weight I carried for the longest time – the family-related one – was lifted on Monday. And since lifting it required that another family member accept something that I was proposing, well, it wasn’t at all certain that it would be lifted. But that person accepted what I said, met me more than halfway, and truly relieved my mind in terms of what was worrying me.
For work, it was (finally) the end of semester, the end of grading papers, and finalizing grades. This was such an odd semester – with the switch to all-online in the middle, literally, and a lot of students who were unbelievably stressed trying to keep up with classes and their work while also dealing with family issues, illness, financial problems, internet connectivity issues, and on and on and on. I feel terrible for them, that they didn’t get the experience we wanted them to have, but they were universally positive and made the best of it. I’m amazed at their resilience and determination, and feeling really good about the future of my profession and our country, if this small sample is representative of this generation.
And finally, the relationship weight. I was dithering and questioning myself and wondering whether I should actually just (literally) hit “send” on an email I’ve been working on for over a month. Seriously. Yesterday, I opened the email draft, and just… sent it. Otherwise, it would have nagged at me for, well, probably forever.
I feel like today – despite it being a Wednesday in the middle of the month, with no particular meaning – is a bit of a fresh start. A chance to take a deep breath, recenter myself, and move ahead from here. The weather is finally starting to turn to spring (hey, it’s only mid-May, take your time!) and I’m feeling, well, hopeful. I need to hold on to that feeling, given all that’s still going on with COVID, the presidency, and all of the other issues and challenges in the world today. It’s overwhelming if I think too much about it, but I try to remember that we will get through. Things will look up, eventually, and we’ll all be able to take a breath and get a fresh start.