And no, before you ask, it’s not what you think it is. It’s been a while, but it hasn’t been that long since I’ve written here. And in the meantime, life has been an interesting mix of the same old, same old, combined with some new and potentially exciting things. I honestly have no idea how to organize this, so I am just going to start writing and hope that something coherent ends up on the screen. Eventually.
First, the Old Stuff…(Warning: whining and complaining ahead, so please scroll down or just close the tab if you’d rather not be subjected to my griping.)
- Last time I wandered into this space, I shared a brief update on a few things that popped up last fall. Namely, a move back into my old space, more medical issues, and hints at other things that were going on in life and at work.
- The short story is, it hasn’t smoothed out. I didn’t think that life could pack quite so many twists and turns into a few short months, but well, here we are. The major medical issues continue (literally, as we speak). That now includes a new issue, the one I alluded to last fall. I’ll be brief since fussing about it does not make it better, but I am pretty tired of having appointments every week with one provider or another (or, more accurately, 1-3 providers). I’m tired of not feeling well. I’m tired of not having a diagnosis or even something remotely resembling a coherent and comprehensive treatment plan. I hope that some of these issues will be resolved soon, but I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. When I dare to even think that I might be feeling better, the Universe slams me with something else.
- On that note, Nicole posted recently about how important it is to be grateful for health. I completely agree. I look forward to the day when I can do the things I so desperately want to do. First on the list? Travel more. Right now, it’s extremely difficult if not impossible. I’ve had to cancel more than one trip in the last few years. It’s frustrating and dispiriting to not be able to just go somewhere when I want.
- The major work challenges were, in fact, huge work challenges. And then a few more were added on top. Let’s just say that work has been difficult in many ways since about mid-October. I keep hoping that it will smooth out, but see above re: not getting my hopes up.
OK, enough complaining. I am sorry for dumping, but things have been building up and, well, this is one of the few places where I can dump.
- One positive thing on the Old Stuff side is that the only remaining name change issue that I can identify is TSA Pre-Check. Since the department that runs TSA has now shut down twice since I sent in my updated information, I am not holding out hope that I will hear from them anytime soon.
- Another positive? I am so happy being back in my old apartment, even with the noise from the community room. I think Engie will attest to the fact that the closets in the other apartment were unbelievably unusable. (Engie? Care to weigh in?) It’s astonishing how having sufficient storage space can make a difference in daily life.
That’s not all of the Old Stuff. I haven’t touched on the state of the world, but honestly, I’m not sure I have the bandwidth to do that right now. I think it’s probably enough to say that I am horrified, terrified, and angry. I am doomscrolling like it’s my second job. I feel powerless and – much of the time – hopeless.
For right now, I think I’d rather touch on at least some of the New Stuff. I don’t know how many of you follow Lindsay (and goodness, if you are not, please do). She recently posted about going back to school for her Masters of Library and Information Science. I am, I confess, a bit envious of the fact that she will be a real live librarian when she is finished. But I’m not TOO envious, because I decided to enroll in an online copyediting certificate program. What do I plan to do with this, you ask? I’m not entirely sure. What I am sure of is that a) I cannot stay in my current job forever, since it is not helping my health and may be making it worse, and b) I need to do something new and different.
The first required course is an online grammar course. At first I thought, oh, ugh. But (this will probably not surprise you) I love it. I absolutely love pulling sentences apart and trying to figure out whether there are errors. I love trying to figure out how to convey the same idea more clearly. I use the first few hours of my days to study and read and complete the assignments. Many days, it is hard to tear myself away to work-work. Doing something new? Learning a lot of new things? It’s absolute heaven for me. I’m a nerd. I’ve always said that I would have stayed in school forever if there were a way I could be paid to do so. I thought academia would give me that, but it has not.
I may wind up just using this in another academic role. I may wind up leaving academia altogether. Maybe I’ll just be That Person Who Endlessly Edits Their Posts and Emails. I honestly don’t know what path I will take. What I DO know is that this is one of the things lighting up my life right now, and I need more things lighting up my life. Yes, I have to pay out of pocket and it is, of course, on my own (limited) time. But I like to think that it is an investment in future me. I can’t wait to figure out what the path looks like and where it takes me.
I’ll leave it there for now. Please know that I am reading your blogs, but I may not comment on every post. I love getting those glimpses of your lives. I hope to come back – and not in 3.5 months, sigh – and share some more glimpses of mine. In the meantime, I’m thinking of all of you. Thank you for being here.