OK, that’s not the most informative blog post title, but… it’s (mostly) what I am feeling as this week draws to a close. The post from earlier this week definitely reflected my state of mind at that time… but it’s always fascinating to me how things can turn on a dime, shifting my frustration and stress and, well, overall angst to a more positive outlook.
Sometimes, the Universe delivers. And when it does, I feel compelled to say thank you. Plus, I feel like my blog has devolved into a whine-fest, and I don’t want it to be that way. Being here, interacting with those of you who still come by, and getting out of my work-brain for a few minutes, at least, helps to feed my soul. And that is a good thing.
What helped? Well, for starters, having a meeting on Tuesday that alleviated a ton of the work-related stress. It was budget related (no further details required, I suspect) and I had managed to talk myself onto a ledge, imagining the worst. Turns out my “worst” was a bit of an overreaction (shocking… or not… :>), and I found out that things are probably going to be okay. There is still a chance that things could go south, but it’s much smaller than I had anticipated.
Then, I took control of my schedule on Wednesday and backed out of a previous commitment. I don’t do this often, but when I do, there is a reason. And hopefully a good one. The result? Wednesday reassured me that all was not lost, that I am making progress (sort of) both physically and mentally, and that I can still do my job. And do it (mostly) well. To have that kind of day led to a 180 in my mental state, and as a result, my physical state.
Yesterday (Thursday) was what finally catapulted me out of the self-pitying doldrums where I found myself earlier this week. I “had” to go in to work to present to a new group of students who will be working with faculty on research projects and grants. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I got to see three of my favorite people in one place for the first time in, well, years. I got to give a fun and mostly ad-libbed presentation with one of those favorite people, on one of my favorite nerdy topics (um, literature searches and the library… told you it was nerdy!). I got to answer questions from engaged students, and make them laugh.
And I got an unexpected – completely unexpected – raise.
That last point isn’t THE point. The big thing that reminded me of why I do what I do was the presentation to the students. But, on the same day, I was also reminded that the school has invested in me, and that they see me as a “good” investment. It’s a large enough raise to improve my savings cushion more than anticipated. And that relieves some of the financial stress I’ve felt for the last year, as I’ve shifted from being a member of a dual-earner-no-kids couple, to being a middle-aged single divorced woman, with one income. I didn’t realize quite how stressful that had been until a bit of it lifted.
It was huge.
I did get some slightly stressful news later in the day but I am holding out hope that things will turn out in a positive way, and that my worrying and fretting will have been for naught.
For now? I’m going to seize the moment, and enjoy the shift to positive thinking, forward movement in my career, and thinking about bringing a tiny bit of fun into my weekend. (More on that, I hope, in a soon-to-come post…)
So thank you for being here. For being such wonderful supporters, even though I haven’t met any of you in person. For being who you are, and sharing your lives, too, which helps to remind me that my world is not the only world. That there are others out there facing their own challenges, and doing it with smiles on their faces. Just, thank you. <3
Leaving you with this, which just spoke to me today…
When I was young, I believed that life might unfold in an orderly way, according to my hopes and expectations. But now I understand that the Way winds like a river, always changing, ever onward.. My journeys revealed that the Way itself creates the warrior; that every path leads to peace, every choice to wisdom. And that life has always been, and will always be, arising in Mystery.