Like many in the world who are currently reflecting on all they have amid this pandemic, I am also realizing how much I have – how much to be grateful for. (Side note: grammar-wise, I hate ending sentence with a preposition… lifelong habit, instilled by my English major-and-grammar queen mother… but sometimes it is just necessary!)
This is what I wrote to the grammar queen in an email the other day:
I am so grateful that I have money, can access food, know how to cook it, have stable housing, a car that works, a job that I can do very easily when I’m not in the office, internet service, a functioning washing machine and kitchen, a body that is strong and capable, and on and on and on. Seriously – I am more grateful every day for all that I have. Oh, and people who love me. Awww… 🙂
To that, I would add, of course, that I am beyond thankful for those who put themselves on the front lines of this every day and night (I was a night shift nurse, so I always have to give them a bit of a shout-out…). For those who put their lives at risk to save others. Who do it without complaint, without the right equipment (do. not. get. me. started.). Who do it in the face of what seem to be insurmountable odds – fighting a new enemy, one we are learning about every day. And there are those who support the front line workers – the people who clean the hospitals and clinics, who (I hate to say it) man the morgues, who clean the equipment that is needed to save lives. The people who stock the supply closets, who serve the food that keeps the docs, nurses, therapists, nurse practitioners, families, unit clerks, charge nurses, everyone, going. Without them, we would be in even worse straits.
I still live in fear that one of my parents will become ill, or my mother in law.
I am less worried about me, about my brother and sister in law and their kids. We’re young – our parents, unfortunately, are not. They’re strong, and resilient, of course, but… they’re in that vulnerable group. And it’s on my mind all the time.
And then there’s this… how to balance the challenges of real life (relationship issues, other “stuff”) with the challenges of this new situation we find ourselves in? What’s okay? What’s not okay?
It’s hard. And I think admitting that, and then trying to figure out how to do it, the best we can, is about all we CAN do.
We adapt. We evolve. We’re human – it’s what we do.
It will be interesting to see how things look on the other side. I am looking forward to summer, not only for the normal reasons of, you know, temps above 40 (:>), but because at that point, looking back, we’ll have a much different perspective on all of this.
For me, though? I plan to maintain the gratitude and thankfulness. I have so much…