After that post last Monday, I proceeded to have one of my worst days ever.
I had the wrong date for a guest lecture.
It snowed. A lot.
My leg hurt. A lot.
I got to nothing on my to-do list.
It was a mess.
So the restart happened later last week, not Monday. But now, I am finally, finally, finally feeling more like myself. Being sick sucks. I am the worst sick person on the face of the planet. Really. I hate it.
And yet, the past three days, I’ve had so much more energy. I’ve moved more, gone back to taking the bus to work, and even started with some mini-workouts. My appetite is better, the brain fog is gone, and I feel like I can actually tackle the four-page to-do list I have.
Sometimes, I guess it just takes time. When you’re impatient, as I am, and when you hate being sick, as I do, then a long illness and recovery period is one of the most frustrating things on earth.
But sometimes I also have to realize that taking the time to heal, to really come back to myself, is more beneficial than trying to fight the illness in the first place.
Lessons learned. Plans change. Life’s curveballs don’t take grant deadlines or other obligations into account. They just come at you. And I think I might finally be learning how to hit a curveball… finally.
Good grief. I have been wallowing in how terrible I feel with this ongoing health issue, how much it’s limited me, what I can’t do, blah blah blah.
And I am tired of myself. So the pity party is ending today. Yes, my foot still hurts. Yes, I’m still being treated. That doesn’t mean I’m helpless or hopeless. (I hope!)
One thing I have always had pride in is my ability to just deal with all the crap that happens and move on. Roadblocks and hurdles happen to everyone – I am not special because I am dealing with this, trust me. And others have it a whole lot worse.
Time to suck it up and move on. It will get better. Just because I’m not 100% right now doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do what I CAN. I can’t go to the gym. Fine. I can stretch and do sit-to-stands on a chair to regain some of my lost muscle mass. (And it’s a lot – that’s what triggered this this morning – realizing just how much muscle and fitness I have lost over the last 3+ weeks…sigh) I can do that morning and evening. There is nothing that says I can’t stretch or stand up, right? And eventually, I will get back to the gym, and I will build that muscle back up. My stamina is starting to come back – thanks to my appetite being back, too.
So, time to get over myself. Time to end the pity party. Moving on.