Life, as always, is a series of highs and lows. Never of great amplitude, but enough to influence how each day feels as it ends…So, some recent highs and lows off the top of my head (in other words, not one of my typical posts that I dither over for days… ;>).
Highs
Unexpected acts of love – This one is a bit odd, but, well, I’ve thought about the unexpected little acts of love that show up in my life, two pop up:
- My ex (yes, ex-spouse) doing research for me on flights to Ireland (!!!) this summer;
- My mother buying an extra bath rug (not a mat for stepping on out of the shower; rather, a rug for in front of the sink) when she liked the one she had purchased, and sending it to me, as she remembered me talking about how mine is disintegrating and I haven’t done anything about it. 🙂
The upcoming trip to Ireland! Although this is also a serious source of anxiety. Friends, I forgot how complicated planning international travel can be. And, the last time I traveled internationally (um… hm… 2012?) my then-spouse planned most of it. (He is really good at it, hence the assistance with researching flights). I’m currently in the frenzied figure-it-out phase, stymied by the lack of info on conference accommodations for the conference I am attending. I will only have a short time to myself – probably 2+ days in Galway (at the end of the trip) and 4-ish in Dublin (but 3 of those include conference stuff). Any suggestions (ahem, Stephany? Kae? Susanne?) are welcome.
Getting some of my prep work for my looming, stressful annual review completed and off to my guidance committee. And now I wait for the barrage of comments…
Finally – finally – starting a study that has taken forever to get to this phase. It’s been a year since I learned I got the funding, and I am just now about to launch recruitment. Ooof.
Work friends.
Blog friends. <3 (Although, um, I’m still working through early December posts… I just love reading all of your blogs so much, so please excuse the late comments and do NOT feel compelled to respond if you’re a blog-comment-responder.
Lows
Said annual review… I am so blinking anxious about this it is not even funny. This is the make-it-or-break-it year in terms of determining when I will go up for tenure. I’ve alluded to this “event” in past posts, but heck, you might as well know what’s hanging over my head. It’s in mid-February, and I am bracing myself for the likely message of “You’re close but not quite ready… take the year extension.” (We were all granted a “COVID extension” thanks to everyone’s favorite coronavirus….)
Funding for that study I mentioned above. It’s a complicated mix of campus and internal funds and there are certain funds that must be spent down before they expire at the end of June. I was up for an hour last night (10:30-11:30) worrying about it. Sigh.
Fretting – unnecessarily – about not yet firming up my goals and plans (personal ones, that is) for the year. Look, I know this isn’t something to worry about, but well, you know me. If it exists, I will worry about it. I’m trying to remember that I worked at breakneck pace right up until Christmas Eve. So it took me a long time to even kind of unwind from that. And now, we only have 2 weeks left before classes start up again. So. Seeing the sand trickling through the hourglass and wondering just how late my “2023 goals” will be.
Mostly the usual kind of stuff, but a better mix of mini-highs than at most times. I’m trying – I really am – to find the good, to remember that each day does have positive moments (or even seconds, if I’m not being picky) and I just need to remember what they are. It helps balance out my worry and stress.
Thank you all for being such positive moments in my days.
We work hard, we enjoy life as we can, we endure. We try to help ourselves and one another. We try to be more present and less petty. Some days go better than others. We look for solace in nature and art and maybe, if we are lucky, the quiet satisfaction of our homes… ~ Anne Lamott
Ireland is exciting! Especially when you have a pro in your corner to plan the logistics. I enjoy putting together my local trips, but they are short so the stakes are lower.
I’ve got my fingers crossed for good news for you in mid-February. I’d say “oh it’s fine don’t worry about it” but that’s easier said than done. Instead I’ll say “I hope that mid-February comes quickly and that it’s good news”.
Thank you so much for this – I really appreciate that you recognize the “it’s fine” kind of comments can be, well, challenging. I’m actually not sure they’ll be “fine” (depending on how one defines that word… more coming on this soon…). So seeing this comment from you helped a ton.
I’ve made my flight reservation – the next step(S) are to figure out where I will be and when, then make the hotel reservations before anything else. Baby steps, right? 🙂
Oh, the tenure process. I do not envy you the stress of the whole thing.
On the bright side, Ireland! How exciting! As I’ve mentioned on my own blog before, I hate traveling planning, so I feel you on the stress of deciding what flight to get! Hotel to stay at! Activities to do! Museums to visit! Argh. It’s one of the reasons I don’t leave my house. Ha! I wish you luck in your travel planning.
You know I am among the homebodiest of homebodies… and yet, I used to love travel! I was a travel nurse! I’ve traveled alone all over the place! COVID kind of broke that in me, and… well, I am kind of hoping that this trip reminds me of why I love travel. That, or, um, it will remind me why I’ve changed so much? 😉 (Hope it’s answer A and not answer B… I really would like to explore more!). Perhaps we should develop a challenge to see Small Wisconsin Towns, or something. Ha.
And tenure. Yes. Oy. More coming on this soon. I have some PTSS around it and feel it’s important to share more so you all know just why I’m going off the deep end even more than is usual for me.
Wow, a trip to Ireland! Fabulous! Please let me know what period since we are also planning some travelling.
Galway – a big yes from me. Dublin – NOT. Dublin is lovely but if you’re spending 4 days there, then that’s your travel budget lost because accommodation is incredibly expensive there. Or is your workplace paying the accommodation, since you mentioned conferences? We’ve ditched the idea of a weekend in Dublin many times because of the cost. There’s a lot to see there and lots of historical interest but maybe stay somewhere else and do a day trip to Dublin, if you pay for it privately.
Also, while Irish cities can be nice, rural Ireland is extra special. Galway is small enough though and it’s nice, and you could take a bus out somewhere. We haven’t been in Galway since 2008! Except we stopped in Athenry (near Galway) to charge the car when driving back from Donegal last summer. I’d like to go there to visit a guitar shop and try a particular guitar – planned to do that in the autumn but it’s upstairs and my knee thing happened.
Should I say congrats on the study funding? I didn’t really catch whether it actually happened or not?
It’s good to see you writing, however. Good luck with the annual review! (It sounds horrible)
Hi Susanne! I’ll go in reverse order – since I see your question about the funding. Yes, I got it and it is a Very Good Thing. But. It also comes with A LOT of work. And, since I have very little help (a source of chronic frustration for me – I won’t get into it now, for which you should be grateful…), it all falls on me. So it’s plus-minus? I am so happy to have it but so exhausted by trying to get things off the ground…
And yes! Ireland! I thought of you immediately! It’s the very end of June, though – high travel time, I suspect? I’ll email you with details if you think you’ll be around. Dublin is where the meeting is – they say there are accommodations for the attendees at the property on the campus where we will meet (Dublin City University in… Glasnevin?). I hope so – because you are right – it is pricey in Dublin. I don’t plan to go into the city much but will try to do a few things. The location isn’t ideal for getting in the city but I suspect I can take an Uber or cab or bus.
I chose Galway because a) I have to go by train, and b) I figured I could use it as a hub for van/bus trips elsewhere. Cliffs of Moher, definitely. Other ideas? (I welcome them!) I’d love to find a company that is good for individual travelers – I don’t want to be with groups of a lot of people who know each other. More to come… I need to do my research now that I Have my flights!
I’m not totally familiar with where Glasnevin is. But, how much time do you have to tour Dublin?
Perhaps e-mail me and we’ll figure out details. If you have flights booked, then I’ll keep myself “unbooked” in that period!
Galway is a lovely town and there will certainly be bus tours from there to the cliffs but perhaps you’d rather want to stay in Ennis that is in the heart of county Clare (where you have the Cliffs of Moher and other fab places)?
June is high travel season but not the highest. Also… Cliffs of Moher. Don’t expect it to be a fabulous nature experience. They’ve destroyed the area and made it very commercial, I was very disappointed the last time we visited, compared to our visit in 2004. The cliffs are still stunning but personally I’d prefer to visit them by boat (from Doolin I suspect).
Anyway. Too much to say – I’ll send an e-mail (if I don’t, please feel free to contact me, I have so much in my head right now).
Susanne, thank you thank you thank you. I took a look at Ennis’ location and it seems MUCH more suited to my personality than Galway, to be honest. I am not a big town/city person any more, and I value quiet. The hotels in Galway all had reviews mentioning the noise and the bars and … that’s just not me. There are definitely trains to Ennis – of course there are – and I am going to seriously look at options there this week. I want to get this mostly booked so I can stop worrying about it!
I will email you dates, definitely. And thanks for the head’s up on the Cliffs of Moher. I would rather see some lesser-known attractions, and there seem to be some tours out of Ennis that might give me the variety I am seeking.
I hope that we can figure out a time to meet up – the connections through blogging have made my life so much brighter in the last few years, and you are a big, big part of that. I smile every time I visit your blog (delayed, always) and see your photos, or learn you are doing more music, or *getting your certificate with distinction*. 🙂
And I did book flights – my longer stay was cheaper than the conference only one (=the University would pay!) so I jumped on it. You never know…
Take good care. And thanks again.
Let me know what dates you’ll be in Clare and I’ll figure it out. I can quite easily get to Ennis by bus. Ennis is also a busy town but there are more options to stay out of the centre and still have good walking distance into town.
Sounds good. Even if Ennis is big-ish, it still seems like a better fit for me than Galway, to be honest. And you’re right – more options out of town (and more non-hotel options, too, it seems).
I will email you soon – just trying to get through the last week before classes start… Take care.
Life is such a mix of highs and lows – often concurrently.
I do hope you feel somewhat refreshed going in to 2023 and show yourself so much grace both personally and professionally <3
Also – I have ALWAYS wanted to go to Ireland. Maybe a goal for 2024 for me?!
Oh, thank you, Eisabeth, as always. I am somewhat refreshed and trying (desperately) to remember that not taking a break does not make me more productive. I got a bit of extra sleep last night and that helped tremendously.
I shall report back from Ireland – and I hope convince you to take that trip! 🙂
This is a great list of highs! Your Ireland trip sounds fun and exciting. And I can imagine how the annual review would be a source of pride and a source of anxiety. I hope all goes well!
Fingers crossed for the annual review… I am trying to steel myself for the not-really-wanted “you should wait another year” response. Hoping that my hard work this year is evident. One never knows…
And yes, Irelend IS something to look forward to! 🙂
Ireland! That is going to be so fun. Galway was such a cute little city; I could have spent all of my time there, for sure. See if you can do a tour of the Cliffs of Moher while you’re in Galway – a must-see, of course! Dublin was overwhelming for me, but the EPIC museum was, well, EPIC. Haha. Very interactive, but you need a LOT of time there and if you only have one day to yourself, I’d opt to just walk around the city.
I think it may be helpful for you to think of your year in quintiles, and separating things out by what is happening during each quarter of the year. You know things will get very busy at the end of every semester, so building in goals around that knowledge could be helpful. You can create goals for the year in February, if you need to push it off! There’s no rule that they have to be done at the beginning of the year.
Take care of yourself, friend!
Thank you, SO MUCH, for this: You can create goals for the year in February.
I needed to hear that, very badly. I was feeling “behind” on setting goals, which is… um… dumb? 🙂 I have a weird schedule – you are again absolutely right when you remind me that my end-of-semester times are just bonkers, and to remember that year to year and not take on big projects. <3 Thank you, friend.
Ireland is exciting! I remember you preferring Galway to Dublin, which is helpful - I am very much like you in terms of preferences for noise, big cities, etc. I'm just excited to travel again - and hopefully love it again.
I hope your travel to Ireland will be a wonderful experience.
After Covid it is a bit strange to travel, isn’t it. We have not planned any travel with flights. It seems weird so I can understand some of the stress. Other than that I don’t stress myself over travel.
The unexpected acts. of love are. really heartwarming. It is so wonderful to come by these moments. Glad you could pinpoint them.
Oh, it is definitely a bit strange – for me, the biggest change is that I don’t have much of a need/want to go anywhere. I am so looking forward to this trip not only for the destination but also to see if it brings back my travel mojo, to be honest. It’s been far too long since I’ve been to Europe; I’d like to change that but it will take time (to save the money, primarily!).
Isn’t it nice to have those unexpected acts of love? They’re just… well, one of my favorite things about being human. 🙂
A trip to Ireland! Anne, I am so excited for you! It’s a work trip, but I do hope you can get some well-deserved adventuring in. I would love to go to Ireland. Can I tag along? 🙂
And don’t fret about the goals for this year. I know it feels like everybody is sharing there’s at the beginning of the new year and I get a bit “overwhelmed” by it all (although I enjoy reading other people’s posts about it).. .but you can make goals whenever, doesn’t have to be set in stone right this minute 😉
San, I’d love to have you join me. 🙂 I’m hoping this brings back my travel mojo – and that even if I don’t travel as much as I used to (mostly because of, well, $$), I’ll at least look forward to the 1-2 trips I am able to take per year.
And thank you for echoing Stephany’s comment. I have to remember that my Christmas-into-January time looks much different from others’. My life will (I hope) calm down a bit the closer we get to February. And that’s when I will have the brain and heart space to really think about what I want and need to do this year. <3
So jealous you get to go to Ireland! I wish that my job let me travel or go to cool places, but alas all I get is Pittsburgh. I hope planning goes well but to me the fun part of traveling is all the unknowns- going to a new place and just wandering around not knowing what you’ll find. And luckily weather should be perfect in June!
Sending good vibes your way for your review. I always have the opposite problem- mine are always generic and don’t get a lot of feedback and also never a big raise or move up. But, at least it’s steady I guess and doesn’t cause me any anxiety?
I’m very excited about Ireland – reminding myself that international travel is an investment. 🙂 While I have conference activities, I’ll also have time to explore, which is the best part.
Thanks for the good vibes – I am hopeful but also trying not to get my hopes up too much, if that makes sense.
Hello from a fellow overthinker! I just rescued your comment on my blog from ‘awaiting moderation’ oblivion (I was getting so much spam, but when I discover an actual comment I’ve missed I’m slightly mortified).
Going to Ireland sounds SO cool, and I love when ex-spouses are like this – we have one friend whose husband takes both her and his ex-wife out for Mother’s Day brunch together.
I flirted with the idea of going into academia and ultimately decided against it. I have a few regrets but man, working for a university these days sounds more stressful than ever. Best of luck with the review!
So nice to hear from you, Allison. I honestly had forgotten about the comment that apparently went to spam purgatory – thank you for rescuing it and for wandering over here. As you’ll see, I am a very sporadic blogger although hoping to show up more here this year. We shall see if that actually, you know, happens.
I love that my ex is like this, too. We still text many days and check in with each other regularly. 🙂
You know, I wonder sometimes what I would do if I weren’t in academia. I’ve tried other positions and… they just didn’t work for me. I’m a complete nerd, and introvert, and so the requirements of the job are pretty much tailor-made for me. Ha. 🙂