I read this recently on Rachel’s blog: On Friday I listened to this episode of Deep Questions and I’ve decided I need to be much better about my remote work discipline. So often I find myself in the almost meditative state of replying to emails, sending teams messages, finishing one random thing from my inbox. I know that this isn’t efficient but I love the tiny series of accomplishments I get from the bits and bobs. BUT, no one is going to promote me because I responded quickly or wrote 60 emails in a day.
I need to be a lot better about big picture.
Me again…
Oh, Rachel, me too. Which brings me to my other nudge word this year, which is grounded. I don’t mean it in the sense of me being grounded and stuck in place (a la, “You’re grounded for missing curfew”, which ha, would never happen since I’m rarely up past 8:45, let alone midnight). Instead, I’m using grounded to describe how I want to be this year, as I work to engage more with life.
Being grounded, to me, means being clear in my priorities and values, and ensuring that those priorities and values guide my engagement with the world. I could engage more by working more. By (further) blurring the links between work and home. By continuing to work all-day, every day, with my only breaks coming for sleep, exercise, and the occasional Engie adventure.
But that’s not my intent with choosing engaged for my word. And it’s why I think grounding myself in my values and priorities is critical this year, and as I move into the next phase of my life. I still don’t know how that is going to look – there will be a LOT of work-related uncertainty for the next year + – but I can figure out what matters to me, what priorities I have for engaging with the world, and what I value as I work to (re)build my life in a way that lights me up.
I was trying to figure out how this word popped into my mind. It’s not entirely clear, but on reading through the quotes that I saved from the fabulous Keep Moving, by Maggie Smith, I realized that her book may have been part of the reason. A sampling of the phrases and statements that jumped out for me:
- Stop rewinding and playing the past in your mind. Live here, now. Give the present the gift of your full attention.
- Today, take one step, however small, toward creating a life you can be proud of.
- Close the gap between yourself and your spirit – the person you know you can be. Let your choices reflect the person you want to become, not just the person you think you are.
- And maybe the one that resonated most: Even if you don’t believe you have “a purpose”, think about the work you can do in the world that would make a difference to others.
Reading these words also coincided with me seeing the phrase “Be here now” in multiple places.
It’s important to me to ground myself in the now, while simultaneously figuring out how I want to reach, and extend, from that solid foundation.
These are Big Ideas and Big Thoughts, and obviously this is not a one-month or even one-year process. But good grief, it’s time to start.
And so, to end, with a quote from Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter:
“In fact, to paraphrase Cope, you may really only have one meaningful choice, which is either to move in the direction “becoming who you are” – becoming more and more yourself, in whatever situation you find yourself in – or else to hold back from doing so.”
I love this and what grounded means to you. That is a lot of my focus this year. Just being intentional and making sure what I am doing aligns with who I want to be. The bullets from Keep Moving are great. We can do small things each day toward this bigger goal!
Absolutely yes to this: “Just being intentional and making sure what I am doing aligns with who I want to be.” That is exactly what I mean. I’m trying to be who I want to be but man, it’s hard sometimes. And, sometimes others disagree with how I want to be in certain situations…which is challenging, particularly when they are senior to me and/or serve as a mentor. But I think it’s just as important to differentiate MY why and MY preferences from theirs, so I think I’m going to have to live with the discomfort of taking a different approach or path, if that makes sense.
Oooh, I love that book. I read it in the depths of the pandemic, and it was so meaningful to me at the time. All of those quotes still speak to me very much.
You are the reason I read that book! You and Elisabeth. I was a bit wary, as some of Maggie Smith’s other writings don’t resonate with me (particularly the ones focused on motherhood), but this…this spoke to me. I think I may actually keep the book, rather than donate it (as I do almost all of my other physical books). So thank you for reading and recommending this! 🙂
The word grounded is a very appropriate word of the year as you define it. It makes me think of its sibling foundation, to have a stable ground in your values and intentions. A big YES to living now and let go of the past. You can’t do anything about the past but you can shape your future! That sounds enormously cliché but SOME of it is in your control.
Foundation is another excellent word. I think of grounded as having that foundation – that solid surface that helps me define who I am, and helps me stay consistent and in alignment with my values in all situations. The challenge, of course, is when I choose another approach. That never feels good, and in a way serves as a reminder of why it’s important to stay grounded. I’m hoping to use this foundation to shape my future – you got it exactly right. 🙂
I LOVED Keep Moving. I really should go back and re-read that book. Such a gentle and calming read – yet highly inspiring.
I hope you find so many activities and habits to help with your “grounding.” I will admit the very first thing I thought when I read the title was: Anne’s GROUNDED? How did this happen in her adult life? Haha.
You and Nicole were the reasons I read it! It’s very inspiring, and some days I just kept reading even though I knew I “should” move on to something else.
And ha, I love that you were the one who thought I’d been out after curfew. 😉
I can relate! I’m trying very hard not to check my work email at night since just because everyone that I work with is working 24/7 doesn’t mean that I have to. I’ve realized that I’ve gotten so frustrated with work that I am letting it crowd the joy out of everything else. It’s a work in progress but I’m trying to make the best of what I have right now until I can change it.
Preaching to the choir here, Birchie. Letting work “crowd the joy out of everything else” is something I am guilty of, as well. I (still) check my email before I go to bed, and (if I’m being honest), sometimes when I am up in the middle of the night. I know. I know. Is that the person I want to be? Nope. And yet…. it’s hard to change, isn’t it?
I have no insight, but I really appreciate your thoughts here. I think grounded is an excellent word. Because I teach argument, I often think of grounds or grounding as an organizing metaphor for lots of things, but especially common places.
OK, now I am crazy curious about what you teach and how (and we’re at the same place!). Argument is a fascinating concept for a course but I have NO idea how one would teach that! I like the idea of grounded serving as a metaphor for common places. Do you think it might also align with common perspectives?
I forgot I wrote that – it’s something I need to get better at still! I love your line “ grounding myself in my values and priorities is critical this year, and as I move into the next phase of my life. ” I feel I lived 35 years without thinking about my values and now I want that to guide every decision for me. I love your word “grounded” and hope you are able to keep focused on your goals too… the world is full of easy distraction.
I know – I feel like I’ve lived (a lot longer than you) and still haven’t landed on how to live in accordance with my values. How do I want to show up in my life? What does that demonstrate about me to others? Important things to consider… I see these words as maybe being longer-than-one-year words…this might take a while! 🙂
Grounded! Such a great word, especially at this phase in your life as you try to build a life that better suits your needs. I hope you are able to find ways to put this into practice and find more grounding/presence in your everyday life.
Oh, I hope so too. It’s hard, for sure. I’ve made choices willy-nilly for so long that sometimes it’s like I don’t remember who I want to be, if that makes sense? I have to remind myself. Sad but true. Hopefully it will become more natural as I practice being grounded.
This makes so much sense. Your need to be grounded and what it means. And how it interacts with engage. Love all about it.
I really hope you can find the support in those two words and find your path.
Thanks, Tobia. Having my feet grounded, and the rest of me stretching to engage, is how I visualize this. I think – I hope – that knowing what grounds me will facilitate engagement with those things, places, and people that mean the most to me. 🙂