**Edited to add** This post will come across as ridiculously frivolous in light of all that is going on in our world. I have been following the news out of Ukraine, of course, with a heavy heart. Yet, for the first time in a long time, I find myself needing to step away a bit. I still pay very close attention, but I also need to find space for non-doom-related thoughts. This post is in that spirit. I will come back to the war, and my thoughts, at some point. But for now, I’m finding that a bit too much. I hope you understand.
I usually try to have a focus for my posts, but today I just have random thoughts zipping around in my head, and thought, well, maybe I’ll bore the internet with some of these. So feel free to mosey on by to something more substantive than my musings! I’ll just ramble on here for a bit, then hopefully get back to normal programming at some point.
I am currently on “spring break”, which means we do not have classes, nor are we *supposed* to have meetings. So, yeah. I have a meeting tomorrow, three on Tuesday, two meetings and an evening webinar on Wednesday, and another meeting on Friday. Mmm hmm. In between, I am hoping to make some progress on those things that take a backseat to prepping for class each week (e.g., manuscripts, reviewing articles or others’ papers/drafts/etc.). We’ll see how it goes.
I hit the wall yesterday. I knew this would happen – it does, at least once every academic year. Started with feeling rather punky on Friday afternoon and then yesterday I felt like I was staring at my computer screen and trying to put together 2 brain cells to form something resembling coherent words. So instead of pushing it – and producing something I’d regret later – I… cleared out the ~75 browser tabs I had in my work browser.
Seventy. Five. Give or take. I couldn’t find anything when I was looking for it (e.g., a tab that remains open to a course that I am taking this semester) and it was giving me extreme anxiety. It took hours. But I feel so. much. better. A good use of time when I was definitely not firing on all cylinders! (Note: You may think that this post shows I am still not firing on all cylinders, to be fair…)
I hope you are all managing to stay awake today post-springing forward. I tend to do okay with this one –it’s definitely easier for me than the Fall, most likely because I don’t sleep very much anyway. BUT I also know that I will be ready for bed while it’s still light out tonight. Oh, well, ’tis reality for someone who goes to bed way too early, even in summer! (And, it should be noted, I did doze a bit while doing my morning reading on the couch this morning. It was just so comfy, and warm, and I had tea, and…)
My car started doing a “weird thing” yesterday and it’s stressing me out. I’m taking it in tomorrow (thank goodness for spring break in a University town – everyone else is, well, out of town!) and hoping against hope that it’s not the transmission, or something super-duper expensive. I get very anxious about these types of things, mostly because I’m such a moron when it comes to mechanical/car-related stuff. I have to drop it off and take the shuttle so will be fretting all day that I won’t be able to get it back at the end of the day. Ah, the joys of a brain that loves to borrow trouble. Please keep my 10 year old Prius in your thoughts. I am hoping to get at least another 5 years out of it, if not 10.
It was snowing lightly when I went on my super-early walk this morning, and I suspect it might be the last snow that we see for a while. Then again, this IS Wisconsin, and I distinctly remember a nasty turn in April 2020 (well, other than that whole COVID thing) when we had highs in the 20s after having highs in the 40s+ for weeks. That was what prompted the purchase of my cheapo folding stationary bike – still the best pandemic purchase for me. Although I love winter (really, I do) I will not miss taking 5 minutes to get ready to walk out the door by layering up, figuring out which coat to wear (the heavy one or the REALLY heavy one), etc. Summer is just so much easier in that regard.
Somehow, I have managed to agree to and book a trip to Florida. In May. With my parents. Despite the fact that Stephany lives there, making it a much better place than it would be otherwise, I’m still wrestling with the idea of spending money in a state that legislates hate. Sigh. Yet, this was what I could afford, and what was accessible for me, and for my parents. Part of me wants to donate to organizations supporting LGBTQ+ youth and public health initiatives… I’ll have to ponder that as the time gets closer. And, of course, in the context of what the car needs. Sigh, again.
This post is so totally in line with how my brain was this morning on my walk… random stream of consciousness thoughts that I’d share (and bore you to tears with) if you were sitting here with me today. This morning’s randomness led me to remembering when I first worked in the DC area, the people with whom I interacted at that job (Donna, Ric, Jean… most of whom are probably retired by now!), and even what the parking permit looked like (it was a little car, with the year on the “tires”… it was one of the cutest parking permits I’ve seen).
There is an Event in the community room right now (just down the hall from me). I am betting baby shower. Lots of female voices and high-pitched squeals of “I haven’t seen you in forever!” It makes me smile to overhear these things and think about the different stages of life. 🙂
I have Goals this week, in addition to (sigh) Meetings. I hope to get the bathroom closet finally cleaned up, clear out some ancient files in my desk filing drawers (do I really NEED documentation of my job search from 2000?), and (car willing) take books to the 1/2 price bookstore. We’ll see what actually happens, though. If I can get one thing done, it will make me happy. All 3? We’d be verging into ecstatic. Ha.
OK, this is a really, really long and boring post. Thanks for letting me do a bit of a brain dump though. Time to move on to the next thing on the work to-do list!
When we had that snow last week, I asked my husband to run the snowblower out of gas because I’m hoping we won’t need it again this winter, but, as you said, Wisconsin weather is a crapshoot. My husband has what he calls the “week twelve wall” and that’s when he just sort of stops caring in the semester and he just sort of coasts through the end. Hopefully you’ll bounce back faster!
I don’t actually live that far from Madison (45 minutes or so), so if you ever wanted to meet up for coffee or something, let me know! I would LOVE to get out of the house!
Ha! I like the week 12 wall idea. I was definitely hitting one before spring break, and that was only week 7! By week 12 I’ll be a shadow of my former self. 😉
I’m really sorry, but I said something in a meeting about “this was probably the last snow of the year”, which we all know dooms us to snow in April and probably on Mother’s Day, too. Totally my fault this year – you know, because my comments dictate the (completely random and unpredictable) weather here in WI.
I would love to get together sometime! We will have to figure that out, because I am also desperate to get out of the house, but need a purpose and destination to do so. That would be the perfect motivation! (And also, really confusing to explain to my parents…they don’t really get the whole “blog” thing. ;>)
I am always amazed at the hours you put in working, Anne! You deserve to need time off and to hit walls. I think I’d hit one every day with your workload. 75 tabs – that’s how I describe my mind sometimes; it’s like I have 75 things open and while they’re not all actively in my view at any given time, they weigh me down. Sometimes, like you, I just have to take everything off my radar.
“Ah, the joys of a brain that loves to borrow trouble” – I think I’m getting *slightly* better at this, but wow can I relate.
I hope the car issues are easy to fix. I, like you, have no idea about anything related to mechanics. Thankfully we’ve found a repair shop where we really trust everyone but even still, I get heart palpitations whenever I go in because a little thing can turn into such a big (expensive/inconvenient) fix.
Hope the brain drain helped <3
Oh, Elisabeth, I hope that you never, ever do what I do to myself on a weekly basis in terms of working hours! They’ve crept up recently, too, as I have gotten pretty anxious about moving some stagnant manuscripts out the door, while also juggling the everything else. And yes! I always have about 60-70 tabs open in my brain. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I truly tried to “dump” everything that I’m thinking about at any given moment. That would be a super-long post!
The car… well, it’s going to be fixed, and it seems *relatively* easy, but they’ve had it now since Monday morning (early), and it’s Wednesday morning. It had to spend 2 nights there because the parts to fix it did not come in until yesterday afternoon, not morning. So, my fingers are crossed that the pick-up will happen later today. It was not a cheap fix, but on the other hand, as the guy pointed out to me, I’d gotten 10 years out of what needed to be replaced, and there was no reason to think I would not get another 10 out of the replacement. So in the grand (ha, I just typed “grant”! shows you where my brain is right now…) scheme of things it’s not terrible. It’s also below the figure I’d been telling myself (as in, “it’ll probably be at LEAST x amount”), so that helped put it in perspective. Of course I chose a high number, but still…
Thanks, as always, for stopping by and for your lovely comments and support. <3
No apologies for brain-dumping. We all need to do this sometimes and we’re also all here for it. I enjoy these posts, because they make me feel “closer” to you…. like you said, as if we were sitting across the table from each other and would chat over coffee.
I hope you got good news about your car. I understand your feeling anxious about it being a major expense and I hope it was something that was easy (and inexpensive) to fix! And I am glad to hear you’re going on a little trip with your parents. FL wouldn’t be my first choice of destination ( although I’d love to meet Stephany LOL), but I am sure you’ll have a nice time with your family and that’s what it’s all about.
You hit the nail on the head regarding FL. Definitely not my first choice – particularly since I do not think I’ll be anywhere NEAR Stephany! – but worth it to spend time with them. I debated (briefly) and then realized, time is short. I need to grasp these opportunities while I can. And you KNOW I am hoping that you get the same opportunities sooner rather than later. Sigh. I don’t know whether/how Ukraine (sigh, again, much more loudly) is affecting travel to other parts of Europe, and I sincerely hope that a madman with an agenda does not derail this year’s plans. Fingers crossed so hard on that for you.
The car, well… it wasn’t a pleasant charge to swallow. Then again, the car should (fingers crossed, again) be in good shape now for a while. Barring, of course, any other weirdnesses. At least now I know that I can drive to my one-day conference (two hours each way, ooof) in a few weeks without too much worry. Well other than worrying about the idiots on the road with me, but that’s just par for the course…
I love rambling random posts, so keep ’em coming! It’s sometimes so good to have a brain dump like this and just say what’s on your mind.
Hooray for a trip to Florida! Where in FL will you be?! I live in a very liberal area of Florida (we mostly elect Democrats) so it’s always so disheartening to read news about our legislature/governor and the stuff they are doing. I’m hoping we can kick our governor out of office in 2022 for a Democrat governor! (And dear lord, here’s hoping he doesn’t become President, ugh.)
I know, I love these types of posts, too. I guess that’s why I write them periodically! (It’s not like I have any kind of ‘schedule’, after all! This is probably the least-scheduled area of my life. 🙂
We are going to be in (on?) Amelia Island, far northeast. I think you’re near Tampa/St. Pete, right? I know not all of FL is the same, but man, your governor is on par with our legislators. Do not get me started on their antics and behaviors. Also… I really have no room to criticize, because Ron Johnson. (Insert rolling-eyes emoji here…) I am rooting for you to elect a Democrat, and also for Deathsantis to be roundly defeated in any election.
Aww, darn! Yes, you’ll be about 4 hours from me. I hope you have a lovely time on Amelia Island, though! And that there aren’t too many MAGA people around, haha.
Bummer. I suspected that would be the case. And since we haven’t yet figured out how to apparate a la Harry Potter… (Seriously, wouldn’t that make life 1000x better?) I hope there aren’t too many MAGA people around, either. That’s my big issue with this trip, as I alluded to before. On the other hand, I get to spend time with my parents, and it will be warm – even hot! I’m eagerly anticipating that already. (I know, you think I’m bonkers…) Some other time, perhaps, I’ll be in the TSP area.