I might write a post about my hiatus from this blog, but I might also just move ahead and look forward. I’m still pondering what and how much to share.
Right now, though, I’m trying to look ahead. Near distance and far. What will life bring in the first half of 2025? (Spoiler alert: A LOT more work than I was planning…sigh) What will life start to look like over the next few years? The next ten years? The next 20?
I can’t do it all at once… right now, my gaze (and my goals) are focused on making it through to the end of May. But this year is also a time when I hope to spend more time thinking deliberately about where I want my life to go, who I want to be, and more. I’ve said that before, but this time, well, it seems to hold a bit more weight.
So we’ll see what’s to come in this space. It will still be my usual random ramblings, mixed in with occasional glimpses into life in my world, and I hope you will come back to share it with me. Even though I started blogging just to put my thoughts out there, it’s come to mean so much more. Community. Support. Joy. Thank you all for being you, and for being here. It means a lot. <3
It is Thanksgiving week here in the US, so this will be one of many posts you will see on gratitude. This one will be short, I promise. I’m just dipping a toe back in, re-emerging into this space after far too long, and hoping to reconnect with all of you.
Because that is the point of this post. I may find it difficult right now to be grateful for the direction of our country, but it is never difficult to feel grateful for your presence in my life. You have kept me afloat, with your emails, and invitations, and postcards. Your posts have reminded me that life outside of my self-imposed bubble goes on. And that I need to rejoin that world – to focus outward instead of inward.
So thank you. For your friendship and your steadfastness. I am beyond lucky to have stumbled into this community, with its inclusiveness, its stubborn insistence on connection and depth, and its empathy. Your presence in my life makes it brighter.
“A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. ” ~ From Consolations, by David Whyte
I’m not quite ready to be back in this space, but wanted to let you all know that I am still reading your posts and hope to engage more soon. I miss you all. To those who are participating in NaBloPoMo, I am cheering you on. (And please don’t worry when you read this post – I promise, I’m fine.)
Words and phrases about noticing, about paying attention, have seeped into my life this summer. Another nudge from the universe? Quite likely.
The first time, it was the phrase, “What you focus on increases”. The quote is from a book, The Noticer, which was selected for a summer book club run by the American Nurses Association. I chose not to take part, and now I am regretting it, given the number of posts I saw that highlight the quote and some other takeaways from the book. (Has anyone read it? I trust all of your opinions more than I do those of random nurses on a list serv…)
Then, Nicole made a comment on one of my posts, “what we focus on is what we see more of”.
And finally, not one but two Substack posts that alluded to the same idea. The first was from fia skye, who writes beautiful words at the flying edna substack, and the second was from the Begin in Wonder substack. Both of these substacks bring great joy to my life.
Fia wrote about her tendency to notice things that she perceives as wrong, or that make her mad, and how her partner (kai skye, an artist whose art and writing also speak to my heart) pointed out that you can spend your life focusing on the bad, or you can look up and see the beauty in the world.
Elliott, who writes at Begin in Wonder, had the following quote in one of his posts:
Carrie Newcomer wrote, “Our culture reasons that because we fell there is not enough time, we should increase our pace, multitask, and fit more into our already overbooked days. But even though it is counterintuitive to popular wisdom, perhaps the more effective response to the limits of time is to live more fully in the moment, to savor it and expand it.” (Note: I just looked up Carrie Newcomer, having never heard of her before this quote, so I do not know the specific source for this quote. When and if I find it, I will correct the link, and if someone knows, please educate me!)
This is going to sound tremendously selfish, and it’s such a first-world problem. But, other than my time on vacation, I haven’t always focused on what matters most to me. Like everyone, I deal with outside situations, events, challenges, which intrude on my ability to choose what I do. Sometimes this is just the way life is. Do I WANT to review the 96 page meeting agenda? No. But I was elected to the committee, so I will review that agenda. Perhaps with an eye roll or two. 😉
But other times, it’s my choice. I focus on what I “should be” doing for others, not on what I need or want to do for myself. I need to balance that out, because not doing so just leads to resentment on my part. It absolutely sounds selfish, but the alternative is to feel as though I have no control, and, that’s not working for me either.
I’ve been trying to do this for a few weeks, now, and I’ve had some success and a lot of failure. Like many, I am prone to saying “yes” too much. (I need Elisabeth to give me a few lessons in saying no!) I take on obligations and responsibilities because they sound interesting, not necessarily because they are the best way for me to spend my time. Often, my answer is a default “yes”, instead of a “is saying yes to this saying no to something I really need and want to do?”
I read Four Thousand Weeks a few months ago and loved it, and then promptly managed to forget its lessons. (Sigh.) I started Essentialism, and haven’t finished it. Are you seeing a pattern here? I am.
Going forward, I am trying to figure out to achieve a better balance. Small things make a difference – at least in my work life. I am trying very hard not to reply to emails as soon as they come in. If someone needs me, they can text or Teams me. In my personal life? Trying to not get sucked into the news. Remembering that spending time on things I really want to do – reading, reading blogs, taking walks – isn’t a bad thing. Trying to pare down my obligations to focus on what matters most.
As always, a few quotes that have reflected my thinking recently:
“Productivity is most important for things you don’t want to be doing. Most people want to increase productivity so they can spend less time on the task. But before you worry about being more productive, think about being more selective. Rather than focusing on increasing productivity, it may be worth asking, “What would I be delighted to spend time on, even if it went slowly?” Direct your energy toward figuring out how to start what you want to do rather than thinking about how to shorten what you don’t want to do.” James Clear
We’ve been seduced into believing that we must “stay current” and “keep up with the times.” In a time of great social and political upheaval, information feels very urgent—even though the true emergency is lacking the space to think properly. ~ Ozan Varol
I hope you have the space to think. And if not – if you’re facing challenges and situations beyond your control, demanding your attention and your time – I hope that those resolve sooner rather than later, and let you get back to focusing on what matters most. Go well into the close-to-the-end of this week, my friends.
Tuesday – on to Grand Rapids! I wanted to see the Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park and there happened to be a FLW house nearby that was offering tours the day I planned to be there. But first, I had to get there. The weather tried to thwart me – again. I decided to drive up through South Haven, but on the way had to pull off the highway to wait out another terrifying storm. At one point, I literally could not see in front of the car, and there was standing water. On the highway. After about 30 minutes in a gas station parking lot, I headed out again.
Once I got there, South Haven was as lovely as advertised.
Early morning in South Haven
I made the most of my 30 minutes and walked down to the beach, then left to head to Grand Rapids. I wished I had more time to explore South Haven, but I had a reservation at the Meyer May house. This was one of the best stops of the trip. The house is amazing, and if you are at all interested in Frank Lloyd Wright (ahem, Birchie) or architecture or historic houses, I highly recommend it if you are ever in the area. The tour was free, and led by very passionate volunteers. It was so much fun to listen to them.
The tour starts with a video on the house’s history and its renovation in the 1980s. It’s apparently one of the best restoration jobs of any FLW house, paid for by the Steelcase company. The Steelcase company built a Wright-designed desk (that you can still buy!) for the office building that Wright designed for the SC Johnson Company in Racine, WI, which Engie and Birchie toured back in June. Got that? Steelcase paid for the restoration of the Meyer May house after it fell into disrepair. Although they have never disclosed the costs (and they pay to maintain it, even now), you get a sense of just how much time, energy, and passion went into the restoration from the introductory video. It’s the kind of thing I love – the story behind. It did not hurt that the video was filmed in the mid-80s, so the glasses, hair, and clothes all just added to the vibe.🙂 So many artisans worked to uncover original elements of the house that had been lost to time. They meticulously repaired what they could (which was more than I anticipated), and carefully reproduced what they could not restore. The care, love, and time that went into this was astonishing.
Looking out the front window in the living room.
The tour was wonderful – thanks to Darcie, our tour guide. She loved sharing all the minutiae about the house and the story of the May family. It was commissioned by Meyer May, a Jewish businessman in GR. He and his wife built the house and lived there with their two kids and then… she died in the Spanish flu epidemic. Mr. May and his two children stayed in the house and were eventually joined by Mr. May’s 2nd wife and her two children. At that time, they expanded the house to accommodate the additional kids, an expansion that was reversed during the renovations.
They bought the lot in the Heritage Hill Historic District, a neighborhood with homes that are very, very different from the May house. It stands out, but not in a bad way. It is a double lot – more room for the gardens – and one of the things I liked about it that you don’t get at Taliesin or at Falling Water is that it’s literally in the middle of the neighborhood. There are good things about this, but there are some drawbacks. One is the house next door that has fallen into disrepair. They have compensated by putting up a wall between the properties, but it is still visible.
Exterior of the Meyer May house
The house itself is stunning. The ways in which FLW worked with the family – and in some ways, against the family’s preferences to get what HE wanted instead – were impressive. (The story of the primary bedroom beds is hilarious and worth the tour.) I loved that the house was designed for a man who was short even for his time, making the house just my size! This house felt like one I could live in very comfortably. Not like most places, where the top shelf is not a storage option.
In short, it was a lovely, lovely house, with a fantastic tour led by highly enthusiastic docents. 10/10 would recommend. Then I headed off to the Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park. I was really looking forward to seeing them, and figured that August would be perfect timing. Unfortunately, they did not live up to my expectations. It wasn’t the gardens themselves – it was the weather, which was cold, windy, and drizzly. Not to mention, I hadn’t planned well and only had a few hours. I wish I had planned better, picked a day with better weather, stayed longer, and maybe gone with a friend. I suspect I’ll be back at some point and I hope to see more.
Despite the chill and damp, the gardens really were lovely – very, very green, not very crowded, and I did get to see some of the sculptures that I really wanted to see (Mad Mom and Neuron, among others).
Mad Mom (of course!)
Neuron
It was beautiful, but it was also about 65 degrees, windy, and still misting, and I was turning purple. So, I headed in to the interior exhibits, where I warmed up in the tropical conservatory (heat! humidity! bliss!) and the greenhouses for the carnivorous plants (they get their own, ha) and desert plants (heat! dry heat! bliss!), then visited some of the rotating exhibits. They were kind of fascinating, with an underlying theme of environmental catastrophes. Not uplifting, but fascinating. One used insects’ bodies to make art, as well as make the point that many insect species have already gone extinct as a result of climate change, and the other was composed of wall-mounted sculptures made entirely of soda and beer and other cans that the artist retrieved from trash and the streets. Until you got close – in both exhibits – you had no idea what was used to create the art.
I visited some of the Chihuly sculptures (when I get back to Washington state, the Museum of Glass is very high on my list), then decided to get lunch there. They had great vegetarian options in the “cafeteria”, so I went with that. I sat, read my book on my phone, and (again) people watched. I was inside, warm, and wound up with some leftovers to work into my dinner later.
Then I hit the road for Holland. All I have to say is, wow. Michigan drivers rival those in Illinois and the 95 corridor out east for Scariest Highway Drivers Ever. Holy moley. I was terrified most of the way, which of course makes me drive 10 miles below the speed limit, which then ticks off the other drivers, who zip around me even faster.
I arrived in Holland mid-afternoon, checked into my hotel, then headed into town. It was another cute beach town. I’m more into the beaches and water and (where I can find it) solitude and quite, though, so I went out to the state beach (thanks to my non-resident Michigan state parks pass!) and walked out onto the breakwater. It was gorgeous, didn’t have many people braving the walk out, and gave an unobstructed view of the lake as far as the eye could see. *happy sigh*.
After walking back, it was time for ice cream for pre-dinner (sensing a theme?). I found Whit’s Custard after a brief check of Google Maps and learned that I could get peanut butter as a mix-in. Pardon me for a brief moment here, but… WHY doesn’t the Midwest have vanilla peanut butter ripple ice cream? It’s all chocolate PB, or chocolate chocolate PB cup, or they throw peanuts in, or caramel, or pretzels… I like my simple vanilla/PB combination, so please, if anyone knows of any in Wisconsin or surrounding states (I’m willing to travel!) please let me know.
I thoroughly enjoyed my vanilla ice cream with peanut butter, wandered the streets a bit and people watched, then went back to the hotel for dinner, shower, and bed. The next day would be a long driving day from Holland to Traverse City, and I hoped to make it to Sleeping Bear Dunes National Park along the way.
