I (finally) posted on Instagram this morning, thanking Julie, who shares her world at Thinking about Things, for her lovely gift. She really did a lovely job. And while she did not know it, she sent me down a path of happy memories of a wonderful time in my life. So thank you, Julie.

I haven’t written about my past lives, or the places I have lived, yet. I’m old enough now that there are quite a few. But one of the absolute best was the year and a half I spent as a travel nurse on the West coast.

Keep in mind this was during the original tech boom in the early 2000s (remember, I’m old). I started off in northern California, working at Stanford’s children’s hospital. It was a lovely first assignment, with an apartment in Mountain View that I shared with another travel nurse (a very interesting one, too….). I was close enough to everything in the area that I was able to explore extensively on my weekends off.

I went to San Francisco multiple times, visited museums and historic houses (Filoli was a favorite), Tahoe (where I skied, one of the best experiences of my life), San Jose, and on and on. Yes, traffic was hideous, but it was a time when it felt like we were on the cusp of something wonderful with “the Internet”, and I was living in the heart of Silicon Valley. There was a sense of immense possibility in general, and in my life, as well.

I loved my time on the West coast. I often dream of moving back there, of recapturing at least a smidgen of my full embrace of life as an untethered early 20-something. But, of course, you can’t go back to how things were. Maybe someday I will be neighbors with San and Julie… and maybe not. For now, I’ll drink the Peet’s coffee in my Powell’s mug, and will end the day with a bit of chocolate (because every life needs chocolate, people), and think about how I can recapture some of that feeling in my life here.

A “self” is what we call an entity conscious of its own past and persistence: you are you, made up of your memories (you were you yesterday) and your expectations (you will be you tomorrow). ~Alan Burdick

Take care of yourselves in this busy time, my friends. I hope you are making new memories with those you love.

I feel like I am walking a bit of a tightrope this week. I’ve talked about how challenging the last few weeks of the semester are, when students are ready to check out for a few weeks (or, um, have already done so), so I’m not going to rehash that again. (I’m sure you’re relieved you don’t have to read [or skip] more of my whining…:>)

But this semester there have been added challenges, and that’s added a rather thick layer of “other stuff” on top of my usual slog to winter break. Because I am who I am, this also means that when anything goes even slightly wrong, or even has the potential to, I shift right into catastrophizing. An anxiety spiral. Convinced that the absolute worst outcome is the only outcome, and that I’m going to experience some dire consequence as a result.

I know I’m doing it – even in the moment it starts, I recognize that this is what I’m doing. Stopping it is another matter! Fortunately, none of the worst case scenarios have come to pass, which is a relief. I’ve worked hard at finding joy and smiles despite my fretting, but have had mixed results. This morning, though, I had two bright spots that made me smile. Believe it or not, they came from the news. (I know, right?)

The first was a story in the Washington Post on how cats can learn to fetch, too. Which immediately put me in mind of Stephany and Kim, two major cat lovers. I smiled to myself when I thought about sharing this tidbit with the two of them.

And then, another news story. (I KNOW. I thought it was weird, too…) Apparently, there was an old building in Halifax, NS, that needed to be moved “a few feet” to accommodate a new building. The company had it all set up for the move (which begs the question of, how do they do that? and the related question of, should I trust the structural integrity of a large, old building that was moved from its original foundation? Any engineers are welcome to weigh in…). The building wouldn’t move along the beams they had set up, so the guy in charge sent his wife out to buy up (I am not kidding you) Ivory soap from every store in the area. They put the soap on the beams, which then became slippery enough that the reluctant building moved along. THIS story made me smile because, of course, Elisabeth lives in NS. I do wonder whether this made the news up there, though?!

So, thank you, my friends, for helping me find some bright moments in the slog. (And if you want me to share the stories, let me know! :>)

TGIF, indeed. I hope you have a wonderful weekend – filled with holiday goodness, if that’s your thing! – ahead.

“The way to live a full life is to act quickly. Particularly as you grow older, it’s alarmingly easy to let a year or two (or five) slip by without doing the big things you always felt like doing. You get into a rhythm—not necessarily one you love, but one you become comfortable repeating—and the grooves of your daily routine become deeper and more established. Speed is perpetually undervalued. That doesn’t mean you should feel frantic or rushed. In fact, it’s likely you should eliminate some of the things that make you feel so busy to make space for things you always wanted to do. But it definitely means you should stop letting the days drift by waiting for the moment to be right. Stop acting like there is infinite time. This—the way you are living right now—is your one life.” ~James Clear

This one hit hard, friends. I know I recently included another quote that reminded me that you never know when it will be the last time that you do something. To me, this quote (from James Clear, whose newsletters really hit home for me most weeks), is kind of the other side of that coin.

In some ways, we DO get to choose the last time that we do certain things. When we move, for example, or start a new job. There will always be a “last day” somewhere.

But what hit for me in this quote is the admonishment not to hold on tight to the way things are now, but to actively (and, if you go by the first sentence, quickly) make changes to our routine lives. As part of my reflections recently, on how I got to where I am, it’s occurred to me that I am definitely not who I used to be. This was also brought home by Julie, who posted a map of where she has been in the US. I got a ridiculously high score, mostly because I have lived in several states on both coasts and 2 in “the middle”. But I’ve stayed in or passed through many, many other states. I don’t do that anymore. And I really, really miss it.

I want to travel, but I talk myself out of it (the time! the expense! the unknown!), even though trips don’t have to be long, expensive, or to places that are exotically foreign to this now-Midwesterner. I just need to rip off the darn bandaid. Or, perhaps more practically, get in the darn car and go. I need to make this part of my hopes for 2024. I have a few, but this one needs a spot near the top of the list. Having a purpose – like my trip to Chicago in August to see the van Gogh exhibit – might help.

So, I hope to brainstorm some ideas, starting in January, then figure out what is doable, given my upcoming schedule. I probably should hold myself accountable in some way, so you may be subject to my musings here. Sorry in advance. 🙂

For those of you (ahem, Birchie) who travel more than I do at this point in my life… what prompted you to get out there and go?

Happy Monday. Wherever you are going today – even if it’s “just” to your desk – I hope it is a smooth trip. 😉

I hate to do this, but I need to start today with a brief whining session.

I got 2 hours of sleep last night, and only because I went to bed ridiculously early. Why, you ask? Well, because the neighbors (yes, THOSE neighbors) had a party with people shrieking in the community room, the hallway, and their apartment from about 9:30-12:30. And also they had their music (and accompanying bass) up louder than ever. So loud that I was able to record it on my phone and can now share that with the apartment management. I’m at the end of my rope. I can’t live like this – no one can. Sigh.

So! Whining over. I have now managed to post 30 days in a row and I’m sure you will all be standing and clapping at your computers when I tell you that I am going to take a brief hiatus. But what this test has taught me is that engaging with this community online is even more important to me than I realized. You all know more about me than most people in my face-to-face life.

I assume that others also pick and choose the information they share with any person… yes? Because that’s definitely the case for me. There is no one that I can think of who knows literally everything going on in my life. I do wonder, though – do people share everything with their spouses/partners? Or are there things that they still keep to themselves? The people in my life kind of fit into buckets, for lack of a better term. Family, obviously. Friends-who-are-family. Work friends. Work colleagues. People I see regularly with whom I don’t have an ongoing relationship outside of the context in which I encounter them (e.g., the apartment manager who will be getting my email shortly).

But here? I don’t share everything, not even close. But taken together, I think you all have more knowledge of what’s inside my head (for better or worse, ha) than even some of my family members. And I so appreciate that. I appreciate your support and your comments and your commiseration when I only get 2 hours of sleep. I appreciate you coming by and reading my ramblings. So thank you for coming by, my friends. I hope you go well into the weekend, and that you take some time for you and those you love. <3

Thank you to everyone who commented on yesterday’s post seeking printer suggestions. I hope you all enjoyed the throwback to the days of Windows ME. 🙂

This week is, quite possibly, the most challenging week of my professional life. We’re talking over 25 years here, people. This is when I start looking back at jobs I’ve had throughout my career, and pining for the simpler days of showing up, doing the work, and heading home.

But it’s never that simple, is it? Even when I was in those positions, I was all in. I am, for better or worse, someone who cares a lot about the work that I put out there into the world, as well as how I interact and work with others, whether they are co-workers, patients, or students. It can make it difficult when things are going a bit off the rails (see: this week) and I’m struggling with how much I invest in my work and these relationships.

I suspect that the way I approach work is partly due to the fact that my professional identity is a large part of my personal identity. Is this because I am single with no kids? Is it just an inherent personality characteristic? Who knows… But I do know that even the hard days are worth it, in the end, and that my investment in relationships, especially, is not going to change. Those relationships have been even more important this week. They make it easier to navigate the tough days.

But if the universe could just stop throwing challenges in my path, I certainly would not argue with that. Two more days to go…

I don’t know who said this – probably many people – but it seems apt today: “The best views come after the hardest climbs.” (And gosh, I hope it’s true…)