I hate to do this, but I need to start today with a brief whining session.

I got 2 hours of sleep last night, and only because I went to bed ridiculously early. Why, you ask? Well, because the neighbors (yes, THOSE neighbors) had a party with people shrieking in the community room, the hallway, and their apartment from about 9:30-12:30. And also they had their music (and accompanying bass) up louder than ever. So loud that I was able to record it on my phone and can now share that with the apartment management. I’m at the end of my rope. I can’t live like this – no one can. Sigh.

So! Whining over. I have now managed to post 30 days in a row and I’m sure you will all be standing and clapping at your computers when I tell you that I am going to take a brief hiatus. But what this test has taught me is that engaging with this community online is even more important to me than I realized. You all know more about me than most people in my face-to-face life.

I assume that others also pick and choose the information they share with any person… yes? Because that’s definitely the case for me. There is no one that I can think of who knows literally everything going on in my life. I do wonder, though – do people share everything with their spouses/partners? Or are there things that they still keep to themselves? The people in my life kind of fit into buckets, for lack of a better term. Family, obviously. Friends-who-are-family. Work friends. Work colleagues. People I see regularly with whom I don’t have an ongoing relationship outside of the context in which I encounter them (e.g., the apartment manager who will be getting my email shortly).

But here? I don’t share everything, not even close. But taken together, I think you all have more knowledge of what’s inside my head (for better or worse, ha) than even some of my family members. And I so appreciate that. I appreciate your support and your comments and your commiseration when I only get 2 hours of sleep. I appreciate you coming by and reading my ramblings. So thank you for coming by, my friends. I hope you go well into the weekend, and that you take some time for you and those you love. <3

Thank you to everyone who commented on yesterday’s post seeking printer suggestions. I hope you all enjoyed the throwback to the days of Windows ME. 🙂

This week is, quite possibly, the most challenging week of my professional life. We’re talking over 25 years here, people. This is when I start looking back at jobs I’ve had throughout my career, and pining for the simpler days of showing up, doing the work, and heading home.

But it’s never that simple, is it? Even when I was in those positions, I was all in. I am, for better or worse, someone who cares a lot about the work that I put out there into the world, as well as how I interact and work with others, whether they are co-workers, patients, or students. It can make it difficult when things are going a bit off the rails (see: this week) and I’m struggling with how much I invest in my work and these relationships.

I suspect that the way I approach work is partly due to the fact that my professional identity is a large part of my personal identity. Is this because I am single with no kids? Is it just an inherent personality characteristic? Who knows… But I do know that even the hard days are worth it, in the end, and that my investment in relationships, especially, is not going to change. Those relationships have been even more important this week. They make it easier to navigate the tough days.

But if the universe could just stop throwing challenges in my path, I certainly would not argue with that. Two more days to go…

I don’t know who said this – probably many people – but it seems apt today: “The best views come after the hardest climbs.” (And gosh, I hope it’s true…)

This week has been a WEEK. How is it only Wednesday???

I’m taking the easy way out today – I need help with something, and maybe one of you can help. I have this ancient printer. It’s so old that the driver download site includes Windows Me. Does anyone else remember that short-lived disaster? What it does not include is Windows 11. Which means there is no driver for my (new) laptop. (Note: This is a home printer, but I want to use it with both my work laptop and my home laptop.)

I would like to find a small, reasonably-priced printer that will work with both a PC and a Mac (home laptop). My Mac is similarly ancient and I will need to replace it soon. Does anyone have a small printer at home that you would recommend? Ideally, if it’s wireless, it would have a cord-based backup, just in case. I don’t use my home printer often, but it’s helpful to have one for printing return labels, or printing something on a weekend when I don’t want to run in to the office.

Sorry for phoning it in today, my friends. Hump day cannot be over fast enough for me (and Saturday cannot come fast enough, either). I hope things in your world are going well.

I’m not going to be able to put up the longer post on the roads I’ve traveled, but I hope to get to that this week. It really is such an interesting idea, to me, at least.

But I’ve been thinking last night and this morning about short- and long-term regret. I sometimes regret things that happened far back in my past – e.g., how I approached my college years, the groups with which I was involved, and that kind of thing.

I also have short-term regrets. Today, I have some regrets (or, maybe, have had some second thoughts?) about how I led a particular segment of my class discussion yesterday. I often revisit my approach and my interactions with students later in the day, and I came away regretting several things I said, how I’d engaged one particular student in the discussion, and the fact that we spent more time in a rabbit hole than was probably needed.

The thing is, until I receive my evals, I have no idea how students perceive these discussions and interactions. I like having positive, productive relationships with my students (fyi, this is a VERY small class, so I interact with each student individually in and outside of class). And I want to be sure that what I say supports those relationships.

So it’s hard. I think this is a function of who I am as a teacher, and who I am as a person. Social anxiety + wanting to help my students think deeply about what we discuss in class and how it will be important in their future work = a lot of perseverating. I don’t know that I will ever be one of those professors who leaves a class session and just…leaves it behind. I’m always going to want to do better, which I think is good. I just wish it didn’t come with a side of regret and second thinking.

(and before you mention it, yes, The Power of Regret is on my TBR for break. :>)

Today’s quote, courtesy of Matt Haig and Notes on a Nervous Planet: “You are you. The past is the past. The only way to make a better life is from inside the present. To focus on regret does nothing but turn that very present into another thing you will wish you did differently. Accept your own reality.”

Have a wonderful Tuesday.

I’m hoping to write a longer, more in depth post on this topic soon, but as a teaser for that…

Do you ever think about the roads or paths you have traveled to get where you are today? I find myself looking back, sometimes, and honestly wondering how on earth I landed in this life. I love my life – this is not a post lamenting lost opportunities! But it is most definitely NOT the life I envisioned for myself in high school, college, or even graduate school (the first time around).

I tend to think about my life as a winding road, one that also includes a lot of small hills and larger (mini) mountains. Have I had a difficult life? Definitely not. Have there been challenges along the way? Absolutely. Have I made choices that, in hindsight, I probably would not have made if I could do it all again? 100%.

I have a strong suspicion that this is the case for many – if not all – people. I would be shocked if I came across someone who had planned out their life in, say, high school, and then followed that path throughout their life.

So, with all that said, I’m going to leave you with this quote I love from Andrew Anabi (who writes an infrequent but lovely Substack newsletter):

“When life changes, you will probably miss the way it was. You may miss those long morning drives or walks to the office, or those hectic family gatherings. You may miss them because those moments are finite — you will only travel those streets and see those people a certain amount of times.”

Happy Monday, everyone. I know, I’m still posting daily. I am bound and determined to do 30 days in a row, since I was not aligned with the official NaBloPoMo endeavor. Feel free to ignore me. 🙂