From euphoria to failure

Wholeheartedness. There are many tenets of Wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness; facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough.
– Brene Brown

Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that itโ€™s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.
– Brene Brown

And finally…

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
– Winston Churchill

So, I failed, yet again, at achieving something I really want. 
Despite knowing that the chances of me actually achieving it were slim-to-none. Really. First grant submissions essentially never get funded. 
But learning that, along with some other things that happened yesterday, had me wallowing. 
And I did wallow, for a few hours. 
And then I reached out – which is new for me. 
I reached out to 2 people who I knew would say what I needed to hear: that yes, it sucked, but I am doing good things and I am not a fake. 
Not an impostor. 
The impostor syndrome was strong yesterday. 
There are still vestiges of it today. 
But I’ll come back. I’ll succeed. And I’ll figure out how to get someone to support what I want to study. 
I know it’s important. I know it should be done. I know I need to do a better job of communicating that to others. 
So onward, upward, and all that. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

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