Mindset…Perspective…Changes throughout the journey

I don’t have a quote today – I searched for a few on mindset but nothing really spoke to me.

Hm. This one is in my collection of quotes (my actual commonplace book!) and it actually reflects what I’ve been pondering:

“Each of us has a unique journey marked by experiences that shaped who we are.” -Bert + John Jacobs, Co-founders of Life is Good

I’ve realized in the last few months that I have a completely different mindset, that I’ve experienced a shift in personality that is more profound than I initially realized. (I also just realized that I have another post on mindset from not too long ago, but, well, this is a slightly different one…) 
I was always someone who just let her frustration / anger / annoyance build up, then I’d explode. Usually at myself. 
Or I’d make a dumb mistake, or cut myself in the kitchen (this, unfortunately, happens more often than I care to admit) and I would, quite literally,  yell at myself. 
I was even known to throw pillows and yell at the TV during college basketball games. 
I chalked it up to being “like my mother”, and took solace in the fact that once I exploded, I was really a pretty calm person. 
But then I started not liking who I was in those moments. 
I realized that my reactions, while they might have (in a weird way) felt good when they happened, were not serving me or others. 
I realized that perspective, and realizing that a cut, or a loss in a game, was not the end of the world.
Perhaps it took facing some more serious health – and mental health – issues to get me to realize this. Or the recognition that the life I thought I was going to have is not, actually, the life I have. (The one I have is, thank goodness, better than that envisioned life.)
I was told by a colleague last week that I was one of the “calmest people [she] knows”.
I said something to my spouse this weekend about how I don’t overreact the way I used to – and he agreed. 
I realized that the rift in my relationship with my childhood friend is largely of my own doing – borne out of my reaction to something she did out of love (it was still wrong, and misguided, but her intentions were good…). 
I kind of like this new me better than the old me. It’s a lot easier way to live, to be honest. And I think it’s much more, well, “me”. 
Everyone is trying hard. Everyone has crap they’re dealing with. Me throwing negative energy into the Universe is not going to help that. 
So yes, a shift occurred in my life journey. The path isn’t a different one, but perhaps it took a bit of a bend. And I’m okay with that. It just took me a little while to realize it! 

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