I finally realized that if I want to connect – or re-connect – with people, then I might have to, you know, actually do something. Like reach out to them. My mindset was that yes, I wanted to connect with people, to make friends and rekindle old friendships, but that it was the other person’s responsibility to initiate the connection.
What, did I think they were going to read my mind?
I finally had to get over myself – and what I admit is a strong fear of rejection and / or inadvertently offending someone – and just, well, reach out.
So far, some successes and some misses. In the sense that I haven’t heard back from people I emailed, or messaged on Facebook.
But I’m trying to be okay with that. I reached out. I said what I wanted to say – for example, in one case, an apology for ghosting someone years ago – and it’s now up to them to determine if they want to get back in touch with me. But I certainly feel, well, better, for having at least sent the damn email.
I can say I want to connect but then hole up in my little apartment. I can say I want to have friends but then… never go anywhere, or accept any invitations. It doesn’t work that way. Putting myself out there is hard – particularly for an anxious introvert, ha! – but I hope it will be worth it.
To put it even more simply…