I am a questioner by nature. I don’t know if I align with Gretchen Rubin’s definition of questioners, but it is how I live my life. It’s how I make my living as a researcher. Question everything. Don’t be afraid to buck the trends, to pursue paths that others deem closed.
And yet. I hate uncertainty in my life with a passion. I prefer things to be the way I want them (ha, if you haven’t figured that out by now…). I have routines, habits that I live by. Breaking them and changing them is one of the biggest challenges in my life.
I have major issues with uncertainty in relationships. I prefer that people come out and say why they’re mad at me, or what their issues are. Just be straightforward – it saves so much time!
So… I seek stability in my daily life, yet I make my living by asking questions, by trying to subvert the dominant paradigm.
I’m comfortable with this dichotomy, even as it continues to puzzle me. Perhaps these two halves of me balance each other out? The yin and the yang…?
On to question for another day at work… and then to go home and fall into my comfortable afternoon and evening routine. Just another day in the life of a paradox.