A tinge of blue

While there is definitely joy in life, and in the holidays, I am feeling a tinge blue, as well. It hit me last night how long it’s been since I was able to hug my parents – and how long it will be until I can do that again. I am so grateful they are still healthy, and safe, and doing what they can to avoid getting sick.

But goodness, sometimes you just need a hug.

The same thing happened around Thanksgiving – I was, of course, grateful that my family was safe, and that we’d made the decisions that were right for us. But as Thanksgiving dawned and it was so much like every other day, it hit me just how different things are. I know that’s been, well, 2020, but it is harder around special days – holidays, birthdays, milestones you wish you could celebrate together.

I’ll distract myself with some work today, as well as lots of reading. It’s rather frigid here today, so that lends itself well to a quiet day at home (with, perhaps, a short walk for some fresh air when it “warms up” later). I’ll connect with my parents via email and phone and there may be a spontaneous Zoom connection too. I know we’ll get through this. I know the hugs will come. I know that one day we will be able to celebrate – and appreciate – time with family, friends, and loved ones.

Those thoughts keep me afloat, and remind me that even with the tinge of blue shading my joy, there is still joy to be found. It just looks a bit different right now.

8 thoughts on “A tinge of blue

  1. I hope you had a nice Christmas, quiet as it was. šŸ™‚ There is something quaint and peaceful about these strange times of more solitude, too.. although Iā€™m so sorry you had to miss out on your cherished family time for Christmas. Praying you get to see them again soon!!

    1. It really was lovely – two family Zoom calls, a lovely solo dinner, and lots and lots of reading! Plus, no work. My family is all in on the “safe now, see each other later” approach. It’s just not worth it to risk anyone’s health. We know we can get through this, so we will! Hoping to see them late next fall.

      It looked like your celebration with your family was wonderful – I appreciated you sharing the photos on Instagram! I do find peace in these days of enforced solitude… and know that it will actually be a challenge for me when I have to get back out there (let alone…sigh…commute).

  2. I totally get this. I get really sad when I think about all the things we have missed out on this last year, and how much I just want to hug my mom, sister, in laws, friends. See smiling strangers faces instead of their expression being covered by a mask. Well, mostly that. Maybe it is better than some are covered, LOL. Hope you still enjoyed your Christmas!

    1. Exactly. I think of the milestones we missed – graduations, and starting college (for a niece), weddings (for a…well, some kind of cousin)… I agree with you, though, that sometimes it’s better not to see strangers’ faces! Now I can just imagine that they’re smiling, not scowling. šŸ˜‰

      I did enjoy my solitary and peaceful Christmas. I hope yours with your family was just wonderful – I know you were hoping to make it special for your daughter, and I’m sure you succeeded!

  3. I can totally relate to this! I try to stay positive and think about all the blessings that I do have, so I’m thankful for that, but I still get sad about how many things have been taken away this year. Let’s hope that 2021 will bring some much needed joy to people.

    1. I would be just fine if we ditched “unprecedented” for “hope” as the word of the year in 2021! I think many of us are feeling at least a bit of hope, which is a wonderful feeling after a year with so many challenges. And, I suspect that you and many other people will be celebrating a return to at least some of what’s been taken away this year. I’ll be right there with you!

  4. I thought I’ve been doing so well throughout this whole year (after all, I am used to not being able to see my family often), but last night, a lonely tear appeared about the fact that this year we didn’t even have the choice to travel.
    I think it’s to be expected to feel a little blue this time of year.

    1. San, it’s been nearly 6 months to the day and I just found this comment in spam. I am so sorry! It’s amazing to look back at that post of mine, and then your comment, and think about where we are now. Of course, things could still devolve, again, but it’s amazing the difference. I really really (really) hope that you get to see your family soon. I cannot even imagine how much you miss them. Fingers crossed that travel restrictions are removed, or at least loosened up a bit, to allow you to see each other. Soon.

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