I’m mindful that the road ahead of me is way shorter than the one behind me. ~Maria Shriver, in her Sunday Paper from 11/6/2022)
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. ~Annie Dillard
April 22, 2022 ~Expiration date on cheese purchased last Thursday (just as a reminder, that was 11/2/2022…)
I’ve been thinking about expiration dates, life behind me and life ahead of me, and doomscrolling recently.
I haven’t been writing here, with the usual excuse of not-enough-time-busy-busy-busy.
I haven’t been journaling in my handwritten journal.
Where I have been mini-journaling is in the Reflections app, a favorite of mine (linked with my Holstee account) that I access through my phone and that I have used nearly every evening for the last year, with the exception of some days around surgery and vacation. And nearly every evening, I lament that I didn’t “have the chance” to reflect, to journal, to write out my thoughts that day.
It’s occurred to me that I may be avoiding something – something that emerges that I am not consciously aware of. But it’s also occurred to me that I may simply be spending my time in meaningless doomscrolling, vs. spending my time on activities that are more likely to feed my soul. Perhaps it’s both. But I think the second option deserves some attention because friends, it is getting bad.
I have always been highly engaged with the news, from childhood breakfasts, when the local paper (um, such that it was) was always on the table, through college, when I would listen to KYW 1060 in Philadelphia, a classic all-news AM (AM!!!) station, and then post-college, when I started accessing the news on the internet. I’ve continued and even escalated that engagement in recent years – digital subscriptions to two major newspapers, subscribing to email newsletters from those publications as well as others, and just generally drowning myself in the news-of-the-day.
Unless you’ve been living under a really large rock, though, you know that the news in the last, oh, 6 years or so has not been, shall we say, overwhelmingly positive. I know I am coming at this with a very VERY partisan lens, but I think it’s true regardless of one’s political leanings. The news is overwhelming. It’s negative. It’s panic-inducing, sometimes (like, well, today). And that is what I have chosen for my primary non-work activity each day.
I listen to or read the news while working out. While brushing my teeth and getting dressed post-shower. In the evening. On my phone, when I’m moving around the apartment during the day. I refresh Google news all. the. time.
And this is where expiration dates come in. (Yes, the cheese I inadvertently purchased on Thursday had expired nearly 7 months ago… and yes, the store manager was appalled when I exchanged it yesterday…) My life has an expiration date. All lives do. Our time on this planet is limited. Do I really want to spend so much of my time doomscrolling and obsessing over the news? Is that what is going to create my best life? I think you know the answer, and I think I do, too.
I spend way too much of my limited time on the news. I know this. Even if I cut back by half, I’d have more time to read, to reflect, to journal, to write here, to catch up on all of your blogs, for the love of Pete. The challenge is actually doing it. I think my next step – anxiety-producing in its own little way – is putting a time limit on my use of the Washington Post app, the one I use most frequently. I need to think about how to operationalize it, but my goal is to do that when I return from my (first post-COVID) conference this weekend. (I’ll note that that is also a very anxiety-provoking ‘thing’ on the near horizon…)
Because, after all…
It’s not how many years in your life, but how much life in your years. ~Edward Stieglitz
Wish me luck.
Now stop reading the news for a bit. You only need to browse some headlines to know if anything important has happened. That’s all you need (and obviously read the article if it’s something you think you want to or need to know more about.
I thought of that some day ago that I’ve totally forgotten to read the news lately. I used to always do it in the morning, too much for a while and then I only did it once a day and ONLY browsing headlines. Now I haven’t. Likely because I’ve been busy with school work and such, but actually, I’ve been doing quite well during this time, except school stress. I haven’t had so much positive energy for a long time! Of course that has lots of reasons, but it’s still an interesting correlation…
In whatever case, we always need to consider if the things we spend a lot of time on are important or beneficial enough.
I know. I know I need to do this for my mental health and stress levels. It’s a very hard habit to break, to be honest. I think putting the time limits on (once I am finished traveling…) will help tremendously. I need to focus more on the positive, to be sure. I am good about not bringing my phone to the bedroom (it stays in the kitchen, which, admittedly, is not far from the bedroom…), so night time is my time away from news. It’s encouraging to hear that you had such positive returns on kicking the habit of reading the news – something to inspire me!
I used to have a job where I had to listen to the news and know what’s going on. Then I stopped doing that job and slowly stopped the news podcasts and checking the home page of news sites every day, and now I am happier. But I’m still dreading tomorrow. It seems the outcome is already known and it’s not going to be good. What a time to be alive.
Oh, I know. I know. And you and I have it particularly bad, living where we do. I am already dreading the results. Sigh.
I know I need this change but I think implementing it now would just add to my anxiety. I can face the devil I know better than the one I don’t, in some ways?
It is so tough to balance this. I can so relate! I had a hard time with doomscrolling at the beginning of COVID and just this summer I could tell I was spending way too much time on news sites. I did this mostly when I was tired and needed a mental break. But I would always end up reading for way too long…and the stories were almost all negative (death, destruction, mayhem). It just didn’t feel healthy.
Now I read BBC news for 10-15 minutes TOTAL in a week and that is that. I couldn’t handle consuming the news daily.
It also helps that I mostly read the news on my phone and since I’m tracking my screen time again and trying so hard to be around 1 hour a day (or, better yet, less than an hour!) so I don’t want to “waste” my screen time on reading the news!!
I try to focus on issues that worry me and see if I can do something (I read once, I think it was in Oliver Burkeman’s 4000 Weeks book about consolidating your caring and that has stuck with me when I feel overwhelmed by all the requests for donations this time of year – we have a few charities we donate to regularly and I’m trying hard to consolidate my caring and focus on those, even though the list of charitable organizations and tangible needs is so overwhelming).
Hope you find the right balance, my friend!
Thanks for sharing your experience and how you changed your habits, Elisabeth… based on what you and others have said, I think that limiting my time on the apps I use most frequently (well, not ESPN because that’s my fun listening…) will really help. And, I don’t need to check in as frequently as I do. Especially since I get emails with the headlines morning and evening! I do have 4000 weeks queued up and think I’ll make that my next non-fiction read. I’m still trying to get through Notes on a Nervous Planet, which is taking me longer than anticipated. I have a feeling a could learn a lot from that book!
It’s so tough to find that balance thing. I stopped following the news closely in the mid-2000’s because it was bumming me out BACK THEN. Yes I’m happier/yes I’m also very ignorant on a lot of things to the point where maybe this isn’t such a good thing.
It’s that balance, isn’t it? Staying informed but not overwhelming myself or sending myself into the pits of despair (and believe me, in 2016 I was there…). I need to rebalance, though, clearly, as this is not serving me but is likely adding to my anxiety, my sleep challenges and my generally high level of stress. A Goal (with a capital “g”) for 2023, perhaps…
Yes, yes, put those time limits on! I try to stick to two main sources for my news: a news-y podcast and a news-y daily newsletter. (It’s very partisan, oops.) I also follow a few news people on IG, but I have a 15-minute time limit on that app that I’m trying really hard to stick to because IG has become a very unhealthy place for me lately, eeks. But by sticking to those sources, I’m not tempted to doomscroll or refresh other apps to see what’s happening. It’s good to be informed, of course, but it’s also okay to let other things take up your day-to-day life. <3 Good luck!
Umm… don’t apologize for your partisan sources! (Now I am curious as to which one you receive?? and what is your podcast, too? That might be a good option for me, considering I used to be a news radio person long, long ago.) Time limits on the Washington Post app (my go-to source since I lived there and it was my “home paper” for years) seem to be the solution here. And then when I’m on there, I can focus on the headlines like, “Please don’t lick poisonous toads” which, I swear, was a headline yesterday. 🙂
I do wish you luck! I know the news can become a big obsession for a lot of people. I personally feel my own mother spends WAY too much time consuming the news. I don’t think it’s bad to be interested in current events or stay up on things, but I agree with you that a) it feeds you so much negativity and b) every minute you are doing one thing is a minute you aren’t doing something else. So, if there are other things you wish you had more time for… well, something’s gotta give. 🙂
THIS: So, if there are other things you wish you had more time for… well, something’s gotta give.
That is what it comes down to, right? I lament not reading as much as I want. Well, genius, maybe if you used some of your doomscrolling time for reading you might… read a bit more! Shocking! I think this is a good goal for me through the holidays and into 2023 – figuring out the balance, since I’m clearly unbalanced (in my habits, though, not in other ways, LOL).
I stopped reading the news probably January 2022. I just couldn’t handle it anymore, and I completely stopped. Since then I have added back reading headlines every once in a while, and I will say that cutting out the news really helped my mental health. I don’t think this is an approach for everyone, but it worked for me.
Wow, I’m impressed with your cold turkey approach. I’m not sure I could do that, but I do think it’s time to make changes and rebalance. Since, obviously, it’s not a good thing for me right now! And as Kae said, I could then make time for OTHER things – like, you know, reading. Or maybe even a midday walk (instead of a midday doomscroll…).
Ugh, Anne, I feel this so hard… and staying on top of the news is hard habit to break, because after all, we want to be well-informed citizen and we want to know what’s going on in the world. But I agree that there must be a better way.
We’ve cut back on (watching) news quite a bit ever since He Who Should Not Be Named got elected, because it was just too much to see that face on TV every day… but then you also didn’t want to look away completely, because what if there is news I need to know about?
Yeah, it’s tough… but you know what? You won’t miss the big, really important news, if you just check in less. I promise. Can you set yourself a time limit per day? I think you’d feel much better.
EXACTLY. I don’t want to obsess, but I did the same thing with he-who-shall-not-be-named when he was, ahem, “in charge”. I know I won’t miss the big stuff – I get the emails with the headlines, twice a day! I’m not uninformed. And, of course, you’re right – I’ll hear about the super-important things. I need to find a replacement for that time – and I’m thinking (like I said to Kae) that actually READING might be a good option. Maybe then I could get through books more quickly, as opposed to always lamenting that I don’t read as many books as I’d like. 🙂
Hi Anne. I just responded to your comment on my blog. Sorry that I didn’t see it right away. Thanks for visiting.
I watch the news. It’s a local program in Chicago. I feel informed, but the cast is very funny and there are many parts of the program that are light and funny which I feel like provides good balance. We do get a newspaper delivered, but I mostly stick to the human interest stories and occasionally something else that jumps out at me.
Good luck with your limits. I definitely feel that quote by Maria Shriver – the road before me is definitely shorter. Not like that is new information, but it’s been grabbing my attention.
Oh, thank you, Ernie, and thank you for wandering over here and reading my lengthy blather. Your balance sounds really good to me – plus, it sounds like it would work with your crazy-busy life. I think part of my problem is that there is no other person or, um, sentient being in my apartment that I need to pay attention to. If I had kids, they clearly would be the priority. Or even a pet! (Not saying that kids=pets, obviously…) But since I can focus on me-me-me all the time, well, this is what happens. I’m still working on this. Some days are better than others, as with nearly everything. I think the key for me is going to be normalizing reading books on my phone during the day, and catching up on the news in the evening and early morning. Here’s hoping i can make it work!
I so relate to this. I abandoned all social media… Facebook, Instagram, even Whatsapp. But I can’t kick my news reading habit/obsession. I don’t know why! It generally makes me sad, and puts the worst stories into my head. I read BBC multiple times a day. It’s weird to me that I was able to stop all “addictive” apps but can’t quit the news. So I really feel you there.
During the height of Covid my husband and I tried not to read the news for a week at a time, and if we succeeded I would buy a newspaper on a Sunday. It showed me that nothing much was really happening on a daily, or even weekly, level.
But still, the quick check of BBC persists. Let me know if you find a cure….
I have not found the cure yet, unfortunately, but almost every day I think more and more about the impact that this has on my life, my stress level, and the time I have available for other things I enjoy. I’ve subscribed to digests and emails in an effort to focus what I pay attention to but spend waaay too much time in the apps. I either have to delete them and go cold-turkey, or at least set time limits.
Did you find it more helpful to delete the apps entirely? Or did you place stringent limits on them? Curious about what worked for you. And also kind of glad I’m not alone here, to be honest!
Well, I went really cold turkey… I got rid of my smart phone. But yes, definitely deleting apps helped. I also tried to limit my total screen time. The book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport helped me with realizing how much energy I was putting into my phone/internet – even if it wasn’t facebook or instagram. News is still a digital input that wasn’t healthy. I think I need a news detox again soon….
Oh, gracious. I’m not sure I could do that. Wow. I admire you for getting rid of the smart phone. And others whose blogs I read have talked about Cal Newport and have referenced that book when talking about their own challenges disconnecting. I definitely need to go cold turkey on the news-all-the-time thing, though. I could get so much more reading done if I didn’t do that all day, every day..