Showing up

It’s already one week into February, and I’m finally at the point where I am ready to set an intention and some related aspirations/intentions for the year. I know most people do this in January. I wish I could do this in January. But thanks to the vagaries of the academic calendar, and my tendency to schedule my annual review as soon as possible in the Spring semester, January is not a good time for me to be looking forward.

And yet. I’ve had my word(s) for the year selected for weeks now. I’ve been considering some aspirations (let’s not call them goals…otherwise I shall hold myself to them and feel quite let down when I do not achieve them…). And I think I’m ready to share. But this morning, when looking for words from another that would help me express what I want to do, who I want to be this year, I hit upon another possible word. Of course! This is the way it always works. Despite my initial despair at questioning my word, I realized after a few moments that the two might actually work together.

My first word is Engage. I am a notorious over-consumer of information. But my consumption is more surface level. For example, I was ‘following’ an insane number of blogs. Blogs that were added somewhat mindlessly to my Feedly. But I realized, as I’ve been desperately trying to catch up (and falling dreadfully behind…) that there are some/many I always skip in favor of others. Why am I following them if I am not following them? I removed them from my feeds, with the goal of engaging – and connecting – with a smaller group of people. I felt lighter the minute I did that, and I look forward to (oh, please, Universe) catching up on blogs and staying a bit more current with those people with whom I feel a deeper sense of connection. More engaged, as it were.

I want to do the same with my books-to-be-read. It will surprise none of you that I download a ridiculous number of samples from Apple Books. Will I ever read many of them? Likely not. So one of my aspirations for the year is to go through my list of samples and remove those that no longer interest me. Same with my Goodreads Want to Read shelf. I’m trying to get on there more frequently so I can use it as one way of tracking what samples I have available, and which ones I might want to actually read.

If it sounds like a lot of digital decluttering, well, yes, it is. Because that’s where I tend to overconsume. Which, of course, pushes back against my plan to Engage more. I want to go deeper with the content I do consume. I want to think more about the books I read – books that I select more carefully – and think about how they might apply to my own life.

But I want to engage in other ways, too. With my family members, and friends. With people who were – and are – important to me, and who I have lost contact with. I want to engage in travel and exploration – an aspiration greatly aided by my planned trip to Ireland. Will it be the ideal, perfect, once-in-a-lifetime trip? Nope. But it will be a wonderful (I hope!) reintroduction to travel and the wider world.

These are just some initial thoughts and related aspirations. And I haven’t even mentioned my other word. I will soon, I promise. But I wanted to devote this post to engage, and why it speaks to me in this moment. Enough with the surface. I want to go deeper.

It’s possible to be so focused on safety, on staying small and the same so life feels manageable and predictable, that we forget that we’re not here to remain an acorn, a caterpillar. We’re not here to stay put. We’re here to change and grow and become…Our being isn’t ever a singular thing. Each of us is in fact a community of parts, and we’re always negotiating between the parts of ourselves that have vastly different needs…Yes, of course, we needed to build that safe haven. But we were never meant to remain there. We were always meant for more. More can be such a small thing. ~ Fanny Priest

22 thoughts on “Showing up

  1. Engage is SUCH a great word, Anne and it feels so flexible with changing seasons and responsibilities. You know that I opted for more spontaneous weekly words (I haven’t picked one in several weeks now), but one of my biggest challenges with an annual word is feeling “locked in” so I think a word like this is brilliant.
    (I also loved Tobia’s Celebrate in 2022).

    Happy February, my friend. I hope it brings calm, delight, and many opportunities for soul-nourishing engagement.

    1. That is exactly why I liked it, Elisabeth. It’s flexible. Kind of like Tobia’s Celebrate, or her word this year, which I think is Magic? It can apply to so many contexts and, well, things. Digital clutter. Engaging with people. Engaging with myself. 🙂

      And thanks. February overall has felt less, hm, frantic than January did. <3

  2. I think digital decluttering is a great place to start with engaging! I purposefully read and follow very few blogs and try to do the same on my other social accounts so it’s more purposeful!

    I am excited to read the second word!

    1. I need to take a lesson from you, Kim. I have some “legacy blogs” that I follow even though I don’t often comment – and sometimes skip some of those. The other thing that’s piling up is newsletters. Ugh. I have some that I subscribe to that I usually just delete. I should just… unsubscribe. Duh, Anne. 🙂
      (BTW, I keep wanting to comment on your posts, but they’re >30 days at this point by the time I’m reading them [I really really really need to catch up…] and so I can’t. I hope your clots are doing better. <3)

  3. I struggle with the number of blogs I read, too. It always seems to me like everyone else keeps up with so many more than I do, but I guess I just do my best and just stop by the blogs where people seem real and write about real things. This should probably motivate me to unsubscribe from the blogs where I rarely actually click out of my feed reader.

  4. Oh, I love your word. Engage! Yes, that is a very good work (in so many aspects!). I am definitely an over-consumer sometimes and getting the list of things to consume to a manageable level is a very smart choice, Anne. Because it can add to the feeling of overwhelm (at least for me) when I feel I am constantly behind and can’t catch up. I definitely have these blogs in my Feedly that I always skip in favor of others. Time to reevaluate, maybe.

    I can’t wait to hear what the other word is 🙂

    1. THIS: Because it can add to the feeling of overwhelm.
      Yes, yes it does. And then I get on this mental hamster wheel of “I will never catch up. It’s pointless.” Which is dumb! I need to figure out how to do LESS. Not how to keep doing MORE and just shoehorning it into my life.
      I just love how Engage applies to sooo many situations and contexts. Engaging in meetings, even, or in my day to day interactions with random people.

  5. Oooh, I love this, Anne! I strive to be more engaged in my life too. I did the same exact thing with blogs on my reader. There were so many I just skipped over, so why was I even following them? UNFOLLOW! Also, of course I agree with becoming more engaged with people in real life as well. It’s just so important to be there, to be present, to be engaged. Love it!

    1. Yes, Nicole – that’s exactly it. There are blogs in my Feedly that I look at and think, I don’t even know a) who that is, or b) why I Am following them. So, um, then why am I? The ones that are my favorites are obvious – I know the blog name, I ‘know’ the person behind the blog, and I know I love reading them. So, yeah. Unfollowing left and right over here. That doesn’t mean I’ve caught up – not by a mile – but well, at least I won’t be tripping over random-blog-on-knitting (KNITTING? I don’t knit!) that I happen to follow. 🙂

  6. What a lovely word. ENGAGE. I like how you already plan on integrating it into your life. to declutter to the see the things that are worth engaging in. To taking more time to pick and enjoy the things you consume. I hope this word holds all the promise and more for you.

    I am excited to hear what the other word will be.

    1. Oh and this just popped up in my mind. In 2016 I deleted my entire feed reader. I figured the people I really cared about I. will remember and actively search for – and then add again. The ones I can’t even remember the name well, they maybe did have a lasting impression. This was really interesting. She blogs are still with me. Other I have rediscovered years later.

      1. Oh, my – not sure I am there yet. But but but – I am unfollowing all the blogs for which I have no recollection of why I followed them in the first place. I mean, duh, Anne. That’s the logical step. But for some reason I was hanging on to them and even clicking through some days. Weird. If I don’t miss it, I don’t need it!

    2. It’s interesting, isn’t it how DISengaging is such a big part of engaging. I’m unfollowing blogs like mad. Closing tabs and deleting emails that I don’t need or want to read. Unsubscribing from newsletters that – when they land in my inbox – I actually *roll my eyes*. WHY, then, am I wasting my precious moments on reading that? (Obvious answer – stop reading it!)

  7. With or without an annual review, January is not a good month! It’s usually a month I just want to pass by quickly because it’s so dull.
    I like your idea with engage, to consume less, and engage more, and I LOVE that last paragraph in this post.. that we’re here to change and grow, and I’d like to add explore. The what ifs.. that may change your life.

    1. January is a terrible month, I agree. It’s worse if it drags, and (as I know quite well) if the to-do list is a long one.
      I love the last sentence in your comment – “The what ifs…that may change your life”. I’ve followed those what ifs before – and have both benefited and experienced not-so-great outcomes. That said, how would I have known, if I had not explored those options and tried them? I might have always wondered about that path – and now I know I do not need to wonder!
      So yes, engaging more, exploring more.. and the next post will bring in the other word that I think will help me this year. 🙂

  8. Overconsumption is something I struggle with, too! I have tried to separate blogs in my Feedly so I know which ones I want to engage with vs ones I just keep around because I like reading about their lives but don’t feel a need to engage, so I can be weeks behind on their blogs and feel okay about it.

    It feels like you have a refreshed view of things; the tone of this post feels upbeat and positive and makes me excited for what 2023 will hold for you! I can’t wait for the reveal of your other word. 🙂

    1. Stephany, your approach is the approach I want to take towards consumption. I’ve noticed that when I am stressed (this week, so far, and last are/were particularly bad), I tend to gravitate towards the news vs. reading the things that bring me joy. So that’s something to pay attention to. I’ve also created a new Feedly board that is called Tier 1 favorites – those blogs that I want to engage with. Now, if I can only find the time in these crazy weeks to actually curate the blogs on that board! 🙂
      Love (trying to) keep up with your entries… and hope that 2023 is a wonderful one for you, too. <3

  9. LOVE this word. I could not unsubscribe, but I did better categorize my feedly. Like, if something is in “blogs to comment on” then darn it, I WILL comment.

    1. Yep! I just did the same thing – but haven’t completely adjusted which blogs are now “tier 1 favorites” and those that are just “love these blogs and want to keep up”. (You’re on the tier 1 favorites because I honestly love reading about a life that is so different from mine [no kids, which alone makes a huge difference!]. I don’t know how you do it… :>)

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