I’m trying to be more okay with uncertainty. With not knowing how every little thing will turn out every day. Trying, really, to be less regimented, more open to what comes.
It’s hard. It’s really hard for someone who is a creature of habit, of routine. But I am still trying – I figure that counts for something, right?
It’s harder when it’s uncertainty in relationships, in the bigger “life” stuff, vs. just the day to day choices that I make. I’m more okay with making those at the last minute, or changing my mind. After all, it only affects me.
But the bigger stuff? There are others involved – not just me. And in many cases, they are the source of the uncertainty. People are so, well, unpredictable. I like predictability – certainty – knowing how people will act, what they will choose to do.
But I also know that I cannot dictate what others do, the choices they make, even when they involve me.
I’m trying to be okay with the idea of just knowing that there are angels, and they dance.